so I haven’t wrote in the past few days, my words have been blocked in my head and then I went to go see my mates over in Manchester who are wanting baby’s and with my mental health it’s the only reason I said no but they mentioned that they knew a woman who’s eggs they can use but she can’t carry and would I think about it so I’m defo going to give it a good think..

one thing I hate is when someone tries telling you something about your mental illness that is far from the truth, we are not all as bad as people try making us out to be, I have bipolar, bpd, anxiety, I lack empathy and the last one I was diagnosed with is that I’m a sociopath and to be honest it’s a learning curve for me as I’m now just learning about what It is exactly but why all the labels.. why can’t I just be Charlie, why can’t I just be me?? 

I feel my relationship is collapsing beneath me too becuase with me.. the easiest way to explain it is that without seeing her I struggle to grasp it, I struggle to fit into my own head and feelings so the longer I don’t see her, the harder It gets controlling my emotions.. I want her back 

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