Starving for Attention and Food

I woke up with bad cramps and so I took a handful of ibuprofen and tried to get up and function. I borrowed Vic’s heating blanket because mine smells like burning plastic whenever I turn it on. And then I fell back asleep.

I woke up a second time to a bunch of texts from Andrew wanting me to drive an hour and half to be at his mom’s house with him. I said no a few times because I was feeling terrible and crampy but he kept trying to convince me so I caved. I am weak in many ways and for him I am even weaker. So i started getting ready to go, then Vic mentioned she could use a ride to her mom’s house, so I drove her there first. 

I forgot to call the person about the daycare job but I forgot so I guess that’s happening on Monday lol. 

It’s nice outside and my cramps are finally being masked by the ibuprofen. I’ve just arrived at Andrew’s. He is finishing his game or whatever.

I’m sitting on the ground with his cat listening to him talk through his headset to his gaming friends. Usually I am bothered by how annoying he is talking about weapons or teams or whatever. But right now I just like the sound of his voice. Even if I am still mad at him. I want him to touch me so bad, I’m literally starving for attention.

Looks like I’m still a weak piece of shit.

I have to eat something other than Gatorade and animal crackers, but we will see.

I feel bad leaving Mad at the dorm alone but I’m glad it’s only a day. 

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