Answers to Prayers
For our church’s fasting time, I kind of did my own thing. I didn’t really feel the call to fast and when I prayed about it, I felt like God was saying to me, “What good is your fasting when you won’t even read my word?” I know that there are a lot of different reasons to fast. One of which can simply be to worship. Another is to petition God for help for various reasons, which could have included me fasting for a new passion for the word.
(I’m not sure if ‘the word’ is supposed to be capitalized or not, being that it is living. Feel free to let me know in the comments.)
I really felt like I already knew the importance of reading and studying the bible and that my struggle was with discipline and laziness. Sometimes, when your prayers are answered, it is God telling you to take action. It makes sense. After all, if we were given everything we prayed for without any “Nos, Slows, and Something elses” then there would be complete chaos. God is not our Genie in the clouds, but intellectual (beyond our understanding, even).
SO, for my “fasting” week, I only ate when I was hungry and did not indulge (I also struggle with gluttony) and would not allow myself to eat without spending time in the word. I read morning, noon, and night. That week took me from Deuteronomy to 1 Samuel. I prayed about and acknowledged those sins of laziness and gluttony and prayed for passion both for the word and for the people of the world. I’ve always felt very strongly for people but have felt like I’ve been running at 75%. I want to be at least at 99%.
After my week of discipline, I slowly began to slip back into my routine of reading the bible every other day or so.
And then, yesterday and today happened. If only every day could be like yesterday and today!
You are at the conference table at work with the rest of the team. One of your coworkers say that someday they will be a god. You think they’re joking and say, “doubtful,” and laugh. That person comes back with saying that your comment wasn’t very Christ-like. At that point, you get confused and think that maybe you misheard him and so turn to your boss and ask him if he said that he would be A god or be WITH god. Your boss says that Mormons believe that they will be gods when they die.
Every part of me thought that my coworker was joking, and I laughed. It turned out that I was laughing at the 5 Mormons who work in the same office as I do. I had no idea.
One of the girls I work with seemed agitated and later posted a video about accepting that there might me more truth out there.
Shortly afterwards, I was talking with a friend about it and my friend said exactly what I have known for so long. It’s a shame that we know everything there is to know about our work. But when a conversation comes up about God Almighty, Christ Jesus, and the Holy Spirit, we oftentimes don’t feel like we are educated or adequate enough to converse or debate what is supposed to matter most to us.
I was convicted in not only reading but studying the bible. I want to know every answer available to us through both word and the spirit. Otherwise, how am I supposed to stand my ground for God and discuss with others?
OK. NOW, imagine this:
You tell your mother the story. This sparks the conversation on religion that you’ve been waiting to have with her for two years. When the conversation is over, you realized that you gave a testimony. At the time you think that it’s a small testimony but later realize that no testimony is a small testimony. You’ve been wanting to give your testimony for two years.
It’s my opinion that you can’t really practice giving your testimony. Although, I have. I believe that it will be different with every person you tell it to. The testimony that I gave my mother was different than it will be the next time I tell it. We all have so many testimonies!
“You will be arrested and judged. But don’t worry about what you should say. Say the things God gives you to say at that time. It will not really be you speaking. It will be the Holy Spirit speaking.”
— Mark 13:11 NLT
After talking with my mom, I realized that my heart ached, again, in a new way for those who don’t know Jesus and don’t know the Holy Ghost. The passion was renewed.
Keep me passionate, Lord Jesus, for your word AND the people. Amen.
Note to self: Love the people more than the project. You must have a relationship with the people. You must soften your heart for them and feel. Always.
Isaiah 41:13 ESV / 63 helpful votes
For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, “Fear not, I am the one who helps you.”