Distancing from Co-workers

There are times in ones life, that we all befriend our co-workers. I am one who is nice to my co-workers, but I really don’t chum around with them. Why? Well plain and simple fact, I don’t like change. I have a fear of people leaving me, if we get close. In the case, which probably stems from my childhood. Everyone who I was ever close to, left me.  My Mother left me and my brother, when I was very young, with my alcoholic father, who by the way left us for his booze, and at times would not come home, only to find out in my later years, he was often in jail, for drinking and driving. My story is long about that stuff, but the two people, that a young mind loves most, were not in my life at all. 

I, have lived and worked in my tiny town for many years, I have worked with many many people over the course of my 26 years of working in my small town, public eye. I worked with kids, who were graduating high school, only now those kids, are graying, have children of their own, who are now almost have grand kids. Yea…you can say I have seen a lot of change in life.  Out of all of those years, I have never been to chummy with any of my co-workers. It saves me from feeling any kind of heartache when they leave the place of employment where we work. Especially when I really like them as a person. 

There is yet, another change in the wind, where I work now. The only person, that I like where I work, is leaving. She is  a rock star when it comes to her job. She is leaving to better her life. I am not mad at her in the least, believe me, she has to do what is best for her! She will succeed! The only issue I have now, is the scheduling of the joint where I work. Since my rock star co-worker is leaving, the place only has me who knows how to do the job.  

My other co-workers, Ann is very undependable, Kay, has school, and can only work on the weekends, and then there is Erie, she can only work twice a month. Then there is M, my boss, she doesn’t want to work half the time, because she is “the business owner”, and when she does have to work, you will often find her in baggy sweats, uggs, and an inside out sweatshirt, her hair thrown in a pony, and you can count the rings in her darkened eye circles. She does not dress, nor portray the look of an owner. So…this leaves me, who will go in and cover certain shifts that need to be covered, because of the other three, who can’t seem to be there. YET, M doesn’t want to hire anyone, because it costs to much in the over head. So today, I have my phone, in a drawer. Not going to work. I am more or less forcing her to hire at least two people. haha 

Yes, I distance myself from anyone who wants to get close to me, Except my hubby, I trust him, and I love him, but these other people in my life, really don’t mean anything to me. People come and go in your life. I think it is wasted energy to dwell upon people leaving a work place, because after all is said and done, you are just someone you shared a memory with.

I will survive this change. Done it before, will do it again. I just won’t invest any fuzzy feelings for the next person that joins our team. 

When I started the job at the cafe, I was really close to my boss M. My husband built them their business, she had dreams for that place, and it has worked. He put in a lot of time, and labor to make her dreams come true. He did this for our friends for FREEE. Now days, she just doesn’t do anymore than she has to to maintain success. My husband and I have distanced ourselves from them now. We are nice, and polite to them, but we no longer go out to dinners with them or hang out. Because we both feel used. Meaning, they expect my husband to be their personal fix it all guy, and me for my professional serving of customers. My husband would give M, idea’s and she snaps at him. He built them a place to better themselves, yet she just doesn’t want growth. It is frustrating. There is so much potential there. M, is more into the community events, such as planning festivals, having foreign exchange students , involving herself into city council drama, than making one positive effort into making that business grow! If she would have the employee’s in line, get the things she started, but put aside, she focuses her attention on everything else besides her business. She would have so much time to take care of what she wants to do. 

I see that I have rambled on and on once again. Oh well, that’s the course of my nature. I best get off of the p.c. and do something productive.  Enjoy your Saturday.

2 thoughts on “Distancing from Co-workers”

  1. Oh yes, I can imagine that would be extremely frustrating after you and hubby invested so much time and energy into a business where the owner doesn’t seem to care .. you have such a strong work ethic, I think it must be difficult putting your phone in that drawer which made me giggle in a good on you way. I hope you enjoyed a thoroughly carefree Saturday and have many more days like these .. 🙂

  2. It’s becoming much more clear why you are so frustrated with M as I read your entries. I hope there is some peace for you with this at some point. Unfortunately it does sound as if she is someone who may not be able to ever get it together. You do deserve your time off and to not be taken advantage of, it sounds as if she desperately needs some more help there.
    And it can be sad to see co workers leave, I see your reasoning for not getting super close to co workers. I find it can make things more difficult due to complexities of relationships once they move past acquaintance status.

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