Choices

I believe the world is made up of choices. The choice we make determines where we head in life. It feels like drowning in a great abyss of nothingness once we realize the gravity of our choice. I’m not scared. I’m completely and utterly terrified.

In my entire seventeen years of existence I’ve come to realize that I’m neither a fighter nor a runner. I think I’m somewhere in the grey area where I just like to block everything out and believe everything’s alright, just keep myself  from seeing the actuality of  the reality.

So many people have so many great expectations from me and I just feel like running away to a faraway land. I really don’t want to let them down. I know they’re doing this for my well being but that doesn’t calm me in the slightest. 

I don’t know if I’m having a teenage life crisis or if I just have a melancholic soul. But deep down I know it’s the lack of self trust. To be honest I’ve had a pretty smooth life till now. I have great friends, I’ve never been bullied, I have amazing parents, my grades are good and I’ve never taken the road of drugs and alcohol. My parents would be appalled if they ever found out the obscure thoughts running through their daughter’s mind. 

In the end, the options fall in my hands. And it is me who will have to choose whether to rise above my fears and go on to get into a good law university or just crumble under pressure and just merely exist like a non entity, and never really live.

I hope I make the right choice. I know I will make a right choice.

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