Rage

can I not feel rage for no reason? Well I can.. and I have done since last night, I want to break things and watch things crumble and this is the point where if I was seeing someone not serious I’d purposely fuck with them and destroy them so I can let my rage out but I love my mrs so with her I couldn’t do that.. instead it’s 10:45am and I’m drinking a can of Guinness that I’ve had in the fridge for a few days and taking some meds chlorpromazine but it doesn’t work.. they don’t work.. you know one thing I hate? Plans falling through.. the thing with me is that I loose friends and then old friends come back into my life like Shaz, I feel good knowing I can help her sleep.. people would look from the outside and be like ‘she’s a bird you used to msg and flirt with and you have a mrs and u talk to her again’ and find it weird but there’s literally nothing but friendship and again it’s nice that I can help someone, when I went to Manchester my coach stopped in Birmingham and she was there meeting up with her daughter and she was going to meet me at the station while I had 40 mins to wait but the coach got delayed and I told her to go home becuase it was a case of jumping off my coach and straight onto my connecting one! I’m getting sick to death of my mrs getting these fucking sarahah messages, I think part of her thinks I’m sending them or something becuase half of them she read to me doesn’t make any sense but in all reality it pisses me off becuase for once I’m actually faithful.. ironic right.. I cheat on partners and not one message gets sent etc, yet the second I’m faithful, the messages come rolling in.. 

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