01/27/18 — Pick Me Up

My celebrity crush is Justin Long by a long shot. While I’m writing this, I have one of his movies playing in the background to serve as background noise. My brain turned on this evening. I watched Monica and Victor fight and went into super overdrive anxiety mode. I went on a date Friday night that was awkward at first, but definitely got better as the night went on. It was with the super adult. I definitely… am interested in him. Very interested. Trying to ignore my brain, I asked him if he wanted to hang out. I think that this… Was a bad idea on my part. It wasn’t planned out very well, there wasn’t good parking, and my brain was still very much on. I was way too anxious and awkward and talked way too much about Harry Potter and made jokes about things that I probably shouldn’t talk about if I’m trying to charm the guy I’m with. I talked so much that he told me, a couple times, that I overthink things too much. Super Adult is interesting. He too has a psych degree, but he went to a better university and probably had better training than I did, however his degree was more focused on biological psychology than in more social psychologies like my degree. He is a very empathetic person, and always makes sure that the other person is comfortable and that they’re okay with whatever is going on. Super Adult lets me talk at him, and ramble, and does the same thing. He dominates conversations, but when I dominate the conversation, he lets me. Super Adult is honest too. He dropped a truth bomb that he has two children. It doesn’t really faze me, I guess. Especially since I’m hitting that age in life where most people are having kids (especially if I’m into older guys). And yeah. Monica and I talked today and I went to show her his Tinder profile and saw that he had changed it recently, and updated it. I’m not sure how I feel about this, but we came to the conclusion that he’s probably recently becoming active again on the app. Which brings up the fact that there is probably competition! But then again I am talking to other guys. When Super Adult didn’t initially answer, I hit up Mohammad to see if he wanted to hang out. He told me to come pick him up, but by that time I was driving and couldn’t reply to him. I think he got frustrated a little bit because when I didn’t text back right away he said “No? Aight.” and then promptly went to bed. I think he’s still mad about the anime thing, but I’m surprised he said yes to hanging out, even if it was a lazy yes. Maybe I’ll ask him next weekend… But then again, next weekend is Super Bowl weekend and everyone but me probably has plans for the Super Bowl. I’m just tired of being here. Being in this house. Being around the same people. I don’t know if its just my brain because it’s turned on, but I’m just. Existing today. Such is life.

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