So right in the beginning of 2018, I started hanging out with my white water raft guide I always use every summer every time I go rafting. I noticed feelings immediately after we hung out the first time. We talk every day even if it’s minimal, and spend a significant amount of time together. He cuddles me, kisses me, and we’ve even slept together a few times.
We have so much in common yet, some differences. He has been open and honest about wanting to become best friends with someone before he starts another relationship. I’m not his normal “type”, so to speak, but our chemistry is amazing and he’s even mentioned me a few times to his closest friends. I can’t just be his “friend” forever and I want to know so badly if he’s becoming this close to me because I’m a potential or if he just wants another friend. I have friends, great friends. I don’t need more friends.
But what scares me is how much I care about him in such a short period of time. When I’m with him, I’m unstoppable, nothing in this world matters. And when I leave him, he’s all I think about. All I want, is him to hold me longer. He’s an unconditional person in my life and I just don’t know how to read his mind. What am I to him? Are feelings mutual? Does he like me? Will we be something.
I don’t want to pressure him, I don’t want to push him away if I start asking questions, especially so soon. All these unanswered questions drive me mad. I’ve never felt this way at only 22 years old. I’m so vulnerable when it comes to this man !