Thursday, February 1, 2018
Aaaaah, the past three days have been amazing! I’m so motivated and excited for this semester.
I began my new semester on Tuesday, specifically with my art class. Looks like I was harder on my art teacher than I should have been. Turns out she was only strict in 9th grade, because we were learning the basics of art. I remember her being very nice too, and I kinda took the mentality of my friends who didn’t have a good experience with her, and completely forgetting about that. I remember about my parents said she cried in front of them, because we were such a good class. Also, she encouraged my newly found animation interest. She’s super nice, polite and welcoming. We’re also starting something useful! We’re making business cards! I will admit, I thought her 9th grade stuff was useless, but now they’re extremely useful, so thanks!
I then had my spare, which I shared with one of my friends. We worked on art and then separated for lunch. Afterwards, I made my way to writer’s craft. It’s an online class, so there’s someone there to watch us and she was my last year’s art teacher, haha. But turns out we’re only starting our class next week, so we only messed around. But I did write in the “introduce yourself” forum page of the website.
I finished the day with programming, and we’re gonna make apps! So Phantom, I’ll be able to help you out, haha. Even though our teacher gave us a free period, I worked on the yearbook. I drew some pumpkins (I’m designing the Halloween page) all evening, before and after supper.
The day afterwards was just as good! I forgot the order of how my classes went, but I did some art history (which in the past didn’t care for at all, but now I like it), began learning Java in my programming class, enjoyed my spare in the technology class (same as my programming) to work on the yearbook, and did nothing in writer’s craft. I also received my statistics project, and I actually got an A- on it! I thought I did awful, because the top students in our class didn’t do that great. I think our teacher was generous with us, haha. But I’ll gladly take it!
This is a bit abrupt, but I do want to go into a more serious subject. In the bus, I realized something. I was awfully depressed last semester because of all the work. I’m a procrastinator, so naturally I ended with lots of projects and tight deadlines. I would do bad on some tests because of this and would beat myself up over it. I became overly self-critical of myself and couldn’t stop fearing for my future even if I didn’t have to fear anything. My thoughts were going into places I would normally never dare let them go. This was in December and January, which you could most likely notice from some entries around then. A friend of mine seemed to be going down that path too, and I knew I didn’t want her to go down it with me. So we stuck out for each other and pushed ourselves through the weeks until the end of the exams. After all of it I kind of felt lazy, unfulfilled and a bit numb (the four days of doing nothing from “Exams and relaxing”). However, I was making plans to get my back on the right track. Now that the new semester has started, I haven’t felt more free and happy to learn new things. I seem to constantly be in a state of euphoria, and that just makes me even happier to be aware of it, because the weeks beforehand, I couldn’t hold on to happiness more than by small doses. I retreated to my fantasies in video games, movies and TV shows and got my happiness from a fake life. Now, I’m never down and constantly motivated to work hard. I’ve been productive, as much as I was during exam preparation, but instead with more sense of purpose and I feel satisfied when I complete a task. I hope this lasts for a long time. From now on, I’ll manage my time better and work towards goals I always wanted to complete.
At home, I continued working on my yearbook and finished it. Although, I knew I had to start over, because of the awfully low resolution of the pictures. I just did it that way I knew where I wanted everything.
Today, I spent all morning doing an English test with really basic questions (ex : looking at a picture and you have to chose the best answer like : A. The man is wearing a jacket. B. The man is reading a book, and etc.) It’s just for your bilingual diploma, because I go to a French school. Despite its tediousness, I got to see a friend I haven’t seen in a while. Turns out I won’t see her for the semester unless something like this turns up again. That’s unfortunate, because I wanted to enjoy our last lunches at high school together. However, I’ll see her again in other situations outside of school.
I then went to art class and continued my sketch for my business card. I then went to my programming class to work on the yearbook. I finished it! I just have to readjust the size of it. Also, I discovered a guy replied to my introduction on the writer’s craft forum. I read his introduction as well, and he seems like a really cool guy! He wants to write for a film, which I find amazing. He also shares my interest for animation.
At home I relaxed and talked with Ren. He’s such a sweet and nice guy. He also managed to make me even more motivated by asking me a life question. I wish I got to talk to him more. I’ll be able to tomorrow, though.
That’s all for today.