God’s grace and favor still amaze me

What have I done to deserve God’s grace, mercy and favor?? I have done nothing!! That is the beauty. God wants us to take what he has to offer…… free of charge. Already paid in full. Praise be to my father who wants the best for me. I stand in awe. I had a huge miracle transpire yesterday. I’m not surprised but still honored that my savior looked down upon ole me and worked his mighty hand. Tonight was another blissful night at CR. I got my first “chip”. I’m anxious to receive the next one and the one after that. Also getting to hear testimonies of God’s power and being with believers. I was so honored to be able to give glory to God about my miracle. I feel like so much dross is being broken off of me. I’m feeling the weight of depression, hopelessness and fear being lifted off of me. I cannot describe the joy that I am feeling right now. I look forward to gathering w/ believers more than I ever did gathering w/ people at a party. God is revealing to me a a fruitful and prosperous future. I am floored by his grace. I had to fight back the tears tonight as a divorced couple got remarried in front of their CR family and friends. The husband read a letter that he wrote about darkness and damage that had transpired in his family. Years later….. they are reunited to one another under God. And then… after they were announced as being married…..  the pastor said “remember, Love does not live in the past”.   So beautiful. Lord continue to give me a fresh slate with no unforgiveness in my heart. Especially towards my wife. I have only ever struggled with what my wife has said/done because she means the most to me. I believe in live, laugh, love.  Live and let go. The lack of love overshadowed by bitterness and unforgiveness is a smooth road to hell. I will tear out any ill feelings for the good of myself and for the benefit of my family. I had a little mishap tonight. LOL  My anxiety level peaked very high. HAHA  I had been emailing myself tonight (as usual) songs, quotes bible verses etc. I do that so that I can look into them when I get home. I was jamming to worship music multi tasking and I emailed myself a quote that someone said on youtube. They said “waiting on the 3rd day”. Problem is, I allegedly was to laxed and busy and accidentally emailed my wife(her email addy pops up when I send new emails). I am not supposed to have ANY contact with her. My mom called me and told me. I about fainted because I want nothing more than for her to not have hard feelings towards me. I pray that she is understanding. I made a mistake. I was emailing myself that because it shot through me like a bullet. I’m waiting for that 3rd day in every aspect of my life. The 3rd day is when things are brought back to life. I’m holding onto it. It’s my new slogan, lol. Was it meant to be that I email her?? Who knows?!?!  God works in mysterious ways. I have emailed myself many times since she left. Why was this perfect day the day that  I accidentally sent an email…. let alone that specific phrase?!?  The more that I think about it…..  hmmmm…… I’m really intrigued now. I haven’t been this giddy for a long time. I’m turning into the old “SHAWN” back before I let myself become Satans playground. I opened the door to my demons and they wreaked havoc. Watch out everyone, I’m brushing off the dirt and grime from my past. I am bandaging these wounds, scrapes & bruises. My chains are gone!!!

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