Feelings are confusing

Okay, so  this account of mine is so secret that not even my very best friends know that it exists. But sometimes there are other things that I cant tell them. Like how one of my friends just started talking to a guy that I have very secretly liked for about 6 months. I can not be mad at my friend because I never expressed my feelings to her or even really fully to my self. But I want to be mad. I want to make her jealous or do something,anything, but I cant, because she is my friend and I love her with my whole heart. I did however start to talk to this boy, and even a few times the three of us have hung out together, which is very fun but also very extremely, secretly awkward for me. But I guess in the beginning of all of this talking and hanging out, I thought maybe my feelings would go away and I wouldn’t be mad at my self and my friend, but its the opposite. My feelings have only gotten stronger, and I have only grown more and more unhappy with these unfortunate event. I find my self today checking to see if he has snap chatted me back every 4 minutes, watching, waiting, obsessed with this person whom i should let go for the sake of one of my most prized friendships but I can not. and nothing is worse than that 

2 thoughts on “Feelings are confusing”

  1. It’s too bad about your secret love. But your girlfriend sounds too good to let something ruin that relationship. She will be there for you long after the guy is gone, at least that is generally true. Good luck and God bless.

  2. Sounds like a very difficult situation. I would recommend that you actually let your friend know what’s going on with you though. These things have a way of blowing up in the future and causing more damage than if they’d been talked about from the beginning. If you guys are so close, I’m sure you could figure out a way to talk with each other and figure out the awkward situation together.

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