I’ve been meaning to write for some time now. Every time I load the page, I’m consumed in so many emotions, I just can’t express them.
I had a really low day last Friday, to the point of self harming. As much as I want to express it, how it, something managed to creep through my positivity wall, and eat me alive.
A black hole that came from within, and swallowed me whole.
Then it was gone, quicker then a heart beat. Tore through me, making me realize……
I’m not as ok as I thought, i continue to bottle in emotions. I write less, in my journal and poetry wise, when I was just getting the inspiration for it again.
I’m better then I was, but I am not healed completely. I trust in this process, I know things will continue to get better.
Well….except I just received an email, reminding me I miss two payments on an engagement ring. One the woman never saw, had no idea it was coming, and I’m still fucking paying off.
More so, sour like a lemon.
Now I’m pissed, and going to bed.