Friday February 9th

Today is Edward’s birthday. Of course I remembered. I am not saying anything this year, though, because I did last year, and a week later on my birthday, he said nothing. So fuck him. 

I am really down about not getting to at least interview for that job. That fucking sucks. It was too good to be true. Story of my life. No one wants to date me, marry me, hire me. I am so alone. When I decide not to give up and to dig in and keep trying instead, I just get knocked right back down. I have a job that no one else wants. In fact, I interviewed for this job in 2014 and did not get it. The only reason I got it this time was probably because it was October and they were desperate. 

I hate myself so much. 

2 thoughts on “Friday February 9th”

  1. Every life has it’s own unique struggles that are intense for that individual person. What matters is if you can move forward to make a better life for yourself and if you have the ability to handle what’s happened and the things that will come in the future. Are you speaking with a therapist or taking medication for your depression, anxiety, and PTSD?

  2. I do have a therapist and I am on meds. I doubt I’d be functional otherwise.

Leave a Comment: