I’ve lost Ian. He used to think we were good together and he doesn’t any more. I guess I’m leaving next month. I’m going to New Orleans. The really heartbreaking thing is he won’t miss me. He’ll be glad I’m gone so he can find someone else to care fore and treat like a queen. I know I’ll never find that again….no one to treat me so good. He won’t even touch me any more to bring me to an orgasm. The last 2 times we had sex he did have one and basically turned away. He keeps saying he doesn’t want us to get tired of each other which means he already is getting tired of me. So it’s time for me to leave, permanently and never see him again. It already hurts never seeing him or ever feeling his touch. Like I said I miss it already. He used to look at me with such love in his eyes and now he barely looks at me at all. Its my own fault for believing someone could love me in the first place.