Well…. I gave in. Neal came over last night. After me crying and telling him he’s been an asshole lately he promised he would try harder. I tried to not give in but we ended up doing what we do best. I really hope it’s different this time. He promised he’s not going to flake on my bday. If he does I’m definitely done. The old Neal was my best friend. This new guy who is partying alot and being reckless is not the man I fell in love with. I get he’s grieving but we are adults and need to be responsible. I worry about his spiral. I told him I think he needs help. I just hope he gets some before it’s too late. Loving him has consequences. At some point I have to decide if he’s worth those consequences.