Saturday February 10th

I have been cleaning today. I don’t feel like it,  but I’m doing it, anyway. I need to be working on that damn door display for school, but I don’t want to. I’m just not feeling it. It’s a whole lot of trouble to decorate something just to rip it back down. I will have to go buy the paper, I ordered photos last night, but I don’t think Walgreens printed them because bullshit copy write whatever. Of course it’s for educational purposes, dumb fucks. What the hell else would I do with them? 

Life seems really dumb today. You go to work all week, work all weekend cleaning your house, washing and ironing your clothes, going to the store, all to get ready to go back to work on Monday. You work all weekend, just different work, to prepare for the work that pays you during the week. So dumb. 

I need to get up off my ass and finish my work. I still have a lot to do. It’s rainy and disgusting outside.  I honestly have no reason to keep trying. Some days I fucking wonder why I do. For my animals, I guess. I hate myself so much. 

2 thoughts on “Saturday February 10th”

  1. I can relate to this in many ways. I feel it is pointless to stay on this hamster wheel. For what it’s worth, reading this today helped me. It helped me to know someone else gets it and feels the same way at times. I know life is short but sometimes it can seem so long. Particularly when addiction is a part of your life. Not sure if you can relate but I feel that way sometimes. Please keep swimming 🙂

  2. Thank you for reading my journal and taking the time to respond. I have kept a journal since I was in high school, and I started posting my entries online with the hope that my struggles could help someone else.

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