[192.1] ~*Sun – 02/11/18*~

[11:31 pm]

I really didn’t wanted to get out of the tub. I had put an alarm for 11 pm so that would give me half an hour in there. When the alarm went off I let it go to snooze and stayed in there an extra 10 mins. When the alarm went off again, I still didn’t wanted to get out but forced myself out. My cat is so cute, she always come in the bathroom with me and lay beside the tub.

Anyways, after putting my book away and just relaxing in the tub, I started thinking about my big bro. I miss him even if I don’t think I’ve really realized that he’s gone yet. I mean, I wasn’t talking to him too often or seeing him so to me, he’s not gone. I just really hope that he’s now at peace. I don’t know, I was just thinking about how he must of been glad we decided to let him go. He could finally be put out of his miseries. I guess I take these moments where I randomly think about someone that has passed as if they are there with me at that moment and it’s their way of showing me they are still there by making me think of them. 

Well, I wanted to watch a show before bed but I think I will just head to bed now and read a bit before sleeping. I don’t know, I just randomly feel happy tonight which is good as I’ve been feeling depress-ish a lot lately. I just have a smile on my face and feel that things will be okay. That even if the year kinda started on a bad foot that it will turn out to be a good one. Although that mucus thing is really bugging the hell out of me right now. It’s almost been three weeks and the spray is not helping. I think I will need to make an apt with the doc or go to a clinic. I need something else as I’ve been dealing with this for like two months now and it just doesn’t go away. I’ve also been coughing a lot today and had to take some cough drops. If only the coughing could bring up some mucus but nope.




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