I’m having one of my depressive episodes again. My episodes occur frequently, but this is the first one I’ve had in a while. Actually my first one this year. A new semester started, I’m in a relationship–my first one ever in the 18 years I’ve been on Earth, and my step dad’s health has been progressively deteriorating. All of this stress came at me all at once, and I’ve finally reached that stage where I want to isolate myself from everything. I wanted to write away my feelings as I am currently in this pensive state of mind.

My relationship has been a happy one so far, my boyfriend is incredibly good to me. He’s a great person possessing a kind soul, and I cannot be any more grateful for him. He’s given me more than I could ever imagine giving to him. He’s supported me in times where it’s been difficult for me. He’s been extremely patient with me. He has given me a multitude of small delights in the couple months I’ve gotten to know him, which constituted a large portion of my happiness. His feelings and actions are sincere, so there is no reason for me to complain about anything with him. I owe him all the gratitude my heart could offer.

This spring semester, I decided to take 4 courses: Beginning Piano II, Japanese Second Trimester, Elementary Statistics, and College Freshman English. My classes have been alright. Nothing overbearing. My boyfriend, best friend, and other good friends have been aiding me in areas I need help with, and I am eternally grateful for them. I constantly question what I did to deserve these selfless individuals in my life. All incredibly good-hearted people. My second semester of college overall has been adequate so far.

My step dad’s kidneys have been deteriorating. He needs new ones. We haven’t been fortunate enough to find a donor, so we’re sticking with the dialysis treatment. He’s been in the hospital for four days. Although he’s receiving dialysis, I don’t think he can stay on the dialysis treatment for long. To be completely candid, we can’t afford it. The dialysis treatment is $200 a session and he needs to have it three times a week. So it easily accumulates to $600 a week. Sooner or later, he would need a kidney transplant. We got some good news from a nurse, however, that the current condition of his kidneys is acute and not chronic. Hearing this news left my mother ecstatic.

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