[194] ~*Tue – 02/13/18*~

[3:52 pm]

Yep! Just got out of bed and it’s almost 4 pm. I could of prob gotten out of bed earlier as I wasn’t really sleeping anymore but I was trying to force myself to sleep more as I really didn’t wanted to get out of bed. I finally went to sleep at like 2 am and slept until about 8 am when hub came to bed. When he got into bed, I just started crying as I was dreaming that he was, once again, leaving me for another. I hate and totally hate dreaming about that but it seems to always come back. I’m good for a lil while and then, bam, I dream about it. It’s always a different situation, a different girl but he always doesn’t love me anymore and leaves me. After that I fell back asleep but I had another nightmare. I was in a mansion and there was monsters outside, I was left alone inside but then they got inside so I tried to run away. My cousin was helping me but then he got killed. Gaw! What’s up with all these dreams lately. Why can’t I just dream about something nice?! I told hub this morning that pretty soon I will refuse to sleep.

So yea, it’s 4 pm which seems to be the time I get up on my day off. Problem with that, it’s too late to be cleaning the suggies cage. I guess it’s alright, they will have to wait another week. Next Mon is a Holiday so I won’t be working which will give me two days off so hopefully I’ll wake up on one of those days to clean the cage. Mon is also my friend’s Bday so I will prob try to be up on that day and sleep in on Tue.

I don’t like being home during day time cause the sun shines in the house and I can see all the dust everywhere. It’s making me want to cry. I could be cleaning right now but I have no will power to do so. I’m tired! Not tired as wanting to sleep but just tired and not wanting to do anything. I still have that clutter on the counter upstairs that is driving me crazy. I was gonna clean it last night but told myself to leave it alone and I could do it today. I don’t really think I’ll be doing it today. Well, the thing is, it’s Xmas gifts that I’ve gotten and most of it, I don’t want it but I feel bad to give it away. That’s why I don’t like receiving gift. I’d need to put it in a bag and bring it somewhere and I don’t really want to bring just a few things so for now it’s just staying there but I should really get to cleaning it. My purse is also part of the clutter as it’s just there, on the counter. I don’t know what to do with it just yet. I really want to throw it away cause it looks horrible but my new purse isn’t big enough for me to bring everything at the movies when I go with other people. I kinda want to go buy just a sort of bag somewhere that I could bring when I go to the movies but I don’t know where I could get one. I had seen one this one time and I should of bought it. Blah!

Talking about movies, I sorta want to go to the movies tonight but not too sure. It plays in three hours but we’d need to go earlier as it’s the first Tue and it will prob be packed. I kinda want to do like last week, go to the movie and then go eat at Saint Louis but that would mean, spending money. One thing, I can’t stay up tonight as I have a client in the morning. I really hope they can figure out my schedule so I can start having Wed off. I’ve become super lazy and never do anything in the house beside what needs to be done cause I just want to be lazy for that one day I have off.

Time to just sit here and watch some shows cause I don’t feel like doing anything else.





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