Wow, what a great night a recovery. I thanked the men in my small group for being my accountability. I can’t wait until next Tuesday. I told them that it makes things so much easier having a destination/reward. I’m praying for and encouraging my friend to overcome his need to go out and drink. I told him that God is honoring his request to be a better man. One guy in small group gave glory to God because his best friend of 35 years showed up to recovery tonight. It is such an encouraging blessing to see people who admit their faults come together for one common purpose. God has been good. I told group about having a bit of depression yesterday but then God sent someone to cross my path and give me a word of encouragement. They said that Satan will be attacking full force because of the progress that I am making. I consider myself a recovering alcoholic but my current hangups are my family and doubt. Someone told me that we all have problems and if someone tells you that they don’t then they are lying. It’s true. I used to be so focused on my wifes hangups and problems that I didn’t evaluate all of my issues. We talked about tonight how pride can cause us to pick at others instead of owning up to our own problems. I am guilty!!! When I started working on myself and stepped into the light I had so many things exposed. I could write a book about how I failed myself, my savior, my wife and my children. I have reading writings from individuals who faced divorce. ALL of them are like I am reading about my own life. I can tell you one thing…… she is going to run out of reasons to want a divorce. I hope that doesn’t sound arrogant. But that is what I am working towards. I am so thankful for parents who have believed in me. They haven’t spoke ill of my wife. They speak life. A lot of people in your circle will pick up stones however my parents just continue to believe for the best. They will not say or do anything that they ever have to take back. They stand with open arms full of love ready to welcome my wife back. I am so blessed to have that in my life. I know that one day I will be an asset to someone. I want to lead a multitude of people to the cross. Using all of my experiences with my marriage, alcohol, anger, shame, embarrassment etc I’ll be able to understand people and speak life into them. I’ll hold their hand through difficult times in their lives. I need my powerhouse partner back. The love of my life. God’s special daughter. She was a strong tower in our marriage. The roles are gonna reverse. I will be a strong tower for her to lean on during difficult times in her life. No more handicap, sad, depressed man begging for scraps from her. I will be a valuable asset to her. My children will have a father to admire and follow in his footsteps. They will witness the miracle of restoration between their parents. It is frustrating that I had to walk through this valley but it was necessary. I see it now. The greatest men in the bible walked through some lowly stuff. I’m holding onto the promise that God can take a mess and turn it into something beautiful. I would be lying if I said that there are not some things that I still need to work on. And also I still have temporary moments of fear and anxiety but this to shall pass. I MUST remember that everything happens for a reason and that it is all for my good. Thank you Lord for your perfect plan!!!!