Runaway

I want to runaway. I have no escape. Why am I in a relationship with someone I love, but someone I see is always against me. Someone I don’t see as my bff. Aren’t you suppose to marry your bff? Shouldn’t you feel free in relationship ? Shouldn’t you be comfortable with who you’re with? It’s been 6 years, and I’m still in the same situation I try to get out of. I crave to be alone, or at least with someone who believes me. Someone who doesn’t make me feel like every breath I take is wrong. I pray to be in a relationship where talking shit doesn’t exist. I pray that one day I can find the strength to let all go, and start my life alone. I often time fantasize about living on my own and being happy.  I fantasize about being able to take a shit load of pictures after my transformation and show everyone how happy I am and that I don’t need a man. I wish that I could wake up one day and just start my new life. I’m tired of being in unhealthy relationships. Unhealthy habits, relationships that lead to no where. I want to take off the shackles I have and flee. I want to fly without the weight of someone negative, someone who only sees what they want, who doesn’t know to let go. Who demands perfection in an Imperfect world. I want freedom and happiness. I often times feel that I’m stuck in life. I feel down, unhappy, trying to escape and I can’t. 🖤

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