Sexually Frustrated

I really don’t know what I’m feeling anymore. I mean I uh loved her and I don’t. If I had to marry a part of her I’d marry her mind and mannerisms instead of her body. Not really sure if I picked the right college or not or if I should be doing a trade or not or if I should be doing law instead of accounting. So many things to process.

Really gotta practice elevating my consciousness. I am now growing an appreciation for feeling signs over thinking signs. These people that once seemed messy to me  can really help me a lot and in many circumstances too.

It makes me angry looking back and I know I should not be thinking back to the past but I could have actually gotten a trophy if I just spilled my guts out to someone, exercised and kept a positive mindset.

My capricorn lifepath 11 friend was telling me in 3rd form not to hang out with a certain friend and my Mars in Leo was not having it.

The girl I crushed on had a chaldean 9 name for being through it all and I just saw her advice not to dance in front of the class as controlling.

My dad with an attitude number 7 was telling me to work through CAPE even though I lost interest in econ and I really didn’t take on the advice

My lifepath 5 and day number 3 sister was telling me to ignore quarells from dad and just continue doing my work but I chose to dwell on it.

My partner in accounting class form u6 was being blunt with me in my work and I was too blind to notice.

I mean, I had so many lifelines but it looked all so grey to me. The thing that would have helped me the most is believing in myself and that is something I did not really see as important until now.

Psychology seems cool too.

Oh look, me going off on a topic called sexually frustrated and nothing talked on it yet. I believe that I can fall in love with anyone in the moment. sometimes I have so much confidence to talk to people and other times it’s gone and it feels heavy. What I later realize is that I have to channel my emotions into things I love doing and be aware of which ones are really coming from inside me and nobody else. 

I think it’s called reiki. I become so lazy to keeping my emotions fit if that makes sense. my mind seems always distracted thirsty for new knowledge when i should really be manifesting instead of dillydallying. 

If words could have sex just imagine the amount of words that I could make with my own personal dictionary. I have so much things to say and they just aren’t reaching the surface. I don’t get how people become sex addicts from just sticking it. Pull in pull out put in extract….seems very repetitive. 

The amount of lgbt movies and astrology videos I watched is quite unhealthy. I can’t see myself marrying or having sex with someone for  very long time. I just want a best friend that I am able to talk to 24/7

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