2/14/18 — Valentine’s Day

^^^Uncreative title, I know.

At least I didn’t spend this Valentine’s Day alone! Went back to New Orleans today with Kate, Blaze, and finally Chris. I’ve had a crush on Chris sent I met the guy, so it hurt a little when I found out he was officially dating one of his exes again. She seems like a sweet girl, I’m not going to be too salty about it. I will be kind of upset, but meh, I didn’t think me and him would work out anyway. A pansexual who prefers vagina…yeah, I knew he wouldn’t ever pick me. I knew they had been talking and he had been staying at her place a lot, but he’d always say he didn’t want to jump into another relationship. So it was a punch in the gut to find this out on Valentine’s day.

I had told the three about the guy I most recently became involved with, Marcus. I should have never said his name, because Blaze immediately went to look him up on my friend’s list. I got a lot anxious and a little furious so I kinda snapped and reached for his phone. My anxiety is really bad when it comes to other people’s opinions. So I was terrified of hearing negative opinions about his appearance. Stupid reason to get upset, but I can’t control the way my mind works. Anyways, Blaze blew up on me. I can understand why he got angry, I had snapped, but then I got extremely upset and almost cried when he snapped back. I really wish I wasn’t like this. And knowing I made him angry makes me scared to even say anything anymore. It’s like anything I say is either stupid or rude. I hate having to watch my mouth. Thankfully we talked things out and it seems like he doesn’t completely hate me. 

The rest of the day was decent. Went to the same coffee shop (where I saw that cute worker yet again), we went to the Sushi place for the other three and then to the pasta place for me. Not a lot happened. Just played Scrabble and Would You Rather?

Anyways I’m home now. Three minutes to midnight. Glad I was able to get here before a new day started.

11:57 PM
2/14/18

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