Why do I feel like valentine’s day is just a miserable holiday? I mean I have a boyfriend who’s nice and I shouldn’t complain because i’m not single. It’s just that every valentine’s day I see couples together having fun or boyfriend buying their girlfriend’s flowers and candies or going on dates but I have never had that before. I mean yes I have a boyfriend and I know that we only live a hour away but we never get to see each other because we don’t drive and I have reasons on not seeing him. I will tell you the reasons is that i’m having problems out of my teeth so I have to get partials in front top of my teeth I have weight issues and i’m embarrassed by it. I don’t wanna tell him the truth or see him because I think he’ll make fun of me or not wanna be with me anymore. I know that I should tell him the truth but I don’t feel comfortable too here’s a guy I have been talking to flirting and talking to him more like a bf/gf way than a friend way. I feel guilty about it I don’t wanna lose my boyfriend over it it’s just I miss the feeling of being wanted or i’m not sure how to describe it but this guy makes me feel this way. It’s bad because I feel like I don’t wanna be with this guy I just like the feeling he gives me my boyfriend doesn’t know about him or how we’ve been talking to each other. This guy lives away from me though I will probably never see him but I feel like a bad person. I don’t know what to do I don’t have anyone to talk to get their opinion on this because I don’t have friends and before you say are you to young. No i’m 23 but have no friends and it’s just a lot going through my head right now. I don’t know how to put it into words it’s just my boyfriend I feel like doesn’t make a effect because whenever i’m upset he doesn’t really seem to care. I mean I know it was valentine’s and it’s just another holiday but he could’ve at least sent me a card or a letter saying he loved me just seeing these other guys. They get their girlfriend’s flowers, candies, cards or write them letters or take them on romantic dates me I get nothing it’s depressing makes me feel like i’m worth it. I mean neither of us did anything for each other but I feel like i’m not good enough I wrote him a letter he never wrote back. I’ve sent him birthday, christmas and valentine’s gifts last year or the year before I got nothing back but once at Christmas when we first started dating. We’ve been together almost three years now which explains a lot when I first met him he gave me flowers which was his mom’s idea not his. I just wish he would put in the effect but he acts like he gets mad if I say anything like last year. I think I sent him something for valentine’s day and he didn’t send me anything my brother got his fiance candies, roses, gift and food for v-day. But she bitched him out about it and I told my boyfriend I wish he got me something at least my brother got his fiance something even though she didn’t enjoy it I would have he did it for me. My boyfriend got mad at me for saying that said I always whined about him not getting me stuff which isn’t true I never whine to him about him not giving me stuff. I just thought it would have been nice just to get a card or flowers to remind me of him. I feel like if I was another girl who was prettier or skinnier or something along those lines I would get something or he’d want to spend time with me more. Last time I went down there to see him he kept saying i’m going head back didn’t even kiss me or act like he wanted give me a hug but at least I got a hug from him before he jumped out the car. He says it’s my family that he doesn’t like being around but I feel like it’s me who he doesn’t like being around because even when my family isn’t around he still acts funny around me. Like is it me? I feel like i’m not pretty enough or something because i’m overweight. Honestly I need to lose weight and get my life together I wanna go back to school but I feel like a failure. I feel like no matter what I do i’ll still be a failure at life and not succeed I know people tell me that I could do better for myself in life and in relationship wise but I just don’t think I can. Maybe i’m wrong but i’ll never find out until it happens you know? oh well. Ttyl.