First entry

I’m starting to believe I will be alone for the rest of my life.  Maybe I was suppose to only be a mom.  Maybe because of the choices I made in my past I am being punished.  I have asked for forgiveness. I believe my Lord has forgiven me but I still have to face the punishment.  

I want to be loved so badly.  Every single day I wish I had that special man in my life.  Don’t get me wrong Kareem is my world and I would die for him but loving my son is completly different loving a man who you want to be your partner in life.  

I’m 41 years old and never been married.  I have a wonderful son but his dad is not in our lives and I am completly fine with that. Besides he has his own family when we got together. Yes I knew but it was too late. I was already in love with him. I have no regrets being with Kareem’s dad. I got the very best part of Kareem’s dad.  

I’ve been going on these dating websites.  It’s no different.  Just another way to be rejected by men.  I get it. When you email someone and he doesn’t return the email he’s not interested and to move on.  I just want to love and be loved.  I thought by the time I got to be the age I am I would have the husband, and family Ive dreamed of.  I have the child but I’m missing the rest.  Maybe I am having a pity party tonight but like I’ve said before I’m tired of being lonely.

Until next time : )

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