Saying goodbye pt#1

Today there was a get together at my great uncles house… my uncle (my mothers brother) came in town yesterday from Houston Texas. 

This is his “goodbye tour” of sorts.

A few years ago he was diagnosed with cancer and he beat it, into remission he went. Last year it came back. He went through one round of chemo and it took a HUGE toll on him mentally and physically and he chose not to do it anymore. He is choosing not to fight any more. He is choosing to live out his life on his own terms.

For now his numbers are good but it wont be that way forever. The cancer WILL come back, it is only a matter of time and he WILL die from it.

So he arrived yesterday as it was snowing, I couldn’t help but think God did that for him.. one last snow. When I saw him today I hid my sadness but found it very hard to look at him and didnt speak to him much. Thinking about it now it makes me feel like a shit… but I dont know if I can and not get sad. He is here for a week and I will have other chances.

My entire life he has lived in Texas, he went there for college before I was born, but I remember some of his visits from when I was a child! He was the oversized kid, the grownup that was never to busy to get on the floor and plan a game with you. He has always been one of the coolest people I know. Even though he lives so far away I always knew he was out there…and maybe he wasnt coming home for Christmas this year but he would the next. The thought that there is a time within the fairly near future where he will no longer be out there in the world is a terrible thought.

I am considering writing him a letter… sending him home with it and telling him not to open it yet. LOL, or sticking it into his suitcase and when he finds it he finds it.

I want him to know that as he goes forward he is loved… that he will be remembered and that stories will be told of what a great person he is. And he will be missed more than he can ever imagine.

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