[200] ~*Mon – 02/19/18*~

[7:20 pm]

And here’s another thing to worry about. When we got home from brunch, I ran to the bathroom cause I just had to go. When I wiped myself, I realized there was blood. After checking things out, the blood came from my stool. What?! I’m sorta freaking out right now. This is the first time this ever happens to me. 

While I was doing my business, I was reading something online about other people “crying” when they poop. It’s something I do and I don’t know anyone else that does. I don’t really talk about it as it’s not “normal” and I’ve never asked the doctor about it. I had looked online about it before but couldn’t really find anything. I don’t know why but today I had decided to read about other people facing the same problem while I was doing my business. Funny how I read about one problem and then I get another one. I didn’t even try to read about it when it happened. I just got scared, ran to the bedroom as hub was in bed and went to lay with him. I ended up falling asleep. So I’ve slept for four hours, now it’s dark and too late to be cleaning the suggies cage. Arg!

I didn’t even wanted to get out of bed cause my belly just feels weird. My head is making up a hundred reasons why this could be happening and it’s not pretty. I’ve always said my time was up at 32 which I’ll be in two weeks. That said, I still have my mucus problem, now this and what else?! I’m getting scared that my time really is expiring. I know I’m being silly but this is just too weird. I’ve never had this much problem after having a cold or a flu and here I am still dragging after two months.

Of course I just searched real quick “blood in stool” and it’s saying that most of the time it’s nothing to worry about. I am worrying big time though. I know I shouldn’t as it’s the first time and it may not happen again so I shouldn’t think about it until it happens again. It’s just, my body now feels so weird. I don’t really have a pain or a stressful feeling in my stomach but something is definitely going on in there. Arg!

Anyways, beside all of this which I will try not to think about unless it happens again. I managed to get out of bed at noon like I had planned and took my friend to brunch for her Bday. Me, her and hub each had $5 to play but we didn’t win anything. Sad! My luck really left me. When we came back home, the plan for me was to clean the suggies cage but like I just said, that didn’t happen. I just hope I’ll be able to do it tomorrow cause it’s over due of at least two weeks now. I’m telling myself at worse I can always do it on Thu between clients but we all know that if I have time, I will just come home and nap instead of cleaning it. Blah me!

I guess that’s it for the moment. I will now call my mom and tell her how I hate myself for not cleaning the suggies cage and how I am now scared because of my body being stupid.




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