So I never got the chance to update you guys on the parties I went to this weekend. Well first of all, Friday was kind of a bust. We were supposed to go to a house party to get drunk and celebrate Kat’s birthday but all the college kids were out of town for Presidents Day weekend, so Kat had me, Jordan, and her other friend Emma come over to her house to drink and smoke. The first half of the night I was really bubbly and animated and funny but the other half I felt super down and lethargic. My BPD really likes to fuck with me :/ Emma was too high to actually play drinking games so 10 minutes in she wanted to stop and said she “didn’t care about it” which was annoying because that meant me and Kat had to stop too because without her it would just be me and Kat because Jordan didn’t feel like drinking.
The Saturday party was a lot more…interesting. So I established in a past entry that a looooot of people that hate me were coming to that party. Ethan picked me up and brought me over. I gave Jessica a big hug and wished her a happy birthday. There was a very clear segragation happening at this party. Basically everyone who hated me was on one side, on their phones and silent. And everyone who liked me was on the other. And our side was a fucking BLAST. It was me, Jessica, Robert, and Ethan.We were telling stories, laughing, and joking around about all sorts of shit. There was a light on Jessica’s ceiling that literally looked like a titty. Areolas and nipples and all. So that officially became the “titty light.”
SIDENOTE: Jordan’s ex Kristin came to this party! I never told you guys this because it hadn’t come up yet, but before Jordan and I got back together since highschool, he came to my 19th birthday and after the official birthday celebration we decided we wanted to find a party. We didn’t find any but I got reallyyyyy super drunk because I drank like 1/3 of a huge bottle of green apple Amsterdam. Jordan was dating Kristin at the time but we were making out all night. In the car, making out in Kat’s dorm room. Making out everywhere. Jordan tried to stop himself but it was no use. We gave into our feelings and lost all control. It was a wild night. Probably one of the wildest of my life. He broke up with her the next day. But he never did tell her the truth. But considering he had hickeys all over his neck, I’m pretty sure she knew. I’m not proud of this. But it happened. And I don’t regret it.
Eventually I got super annoyed with them ruining Jessica’s party and refusing to talk to her just because I was here and I called them out on their shit. I told them to stop focusing on me and to focus on the birthday girl. That’s what there supposed to be here for. Nate was pissed and he stormed out. Angela took me aside and told me she wanted to talk to me downstairs. Anna followed soon after. Anna and I got in a huge argument and she was bitching about Jordan needed a little help with rent one time. Which, is such bullshit to bitch about considering he paid her ENTIRE deposit and I bought all the house supplies and she never once contributed shit to the house financially even though she had the money to. She told me we shouldn’t have needed her help and should’ve figured it out on her own.
”Well well. It’s easy for you to talk about money when your daddy drowns you in it. Fuck you!” I said.
”Well, fuck you too.” She said.
We both went back upstairs and acted like nothing happened.
Eventually the party all came together to support Angela. Angela admitted to us that nate was emotionally (and sometimes physically) abusing her. We all told her how much we cared for her and how worried we were. We told her that her life mattered more than this wedding and we convinced her to call the rape and abuse hotline and also the police, which PS didn’t do shit. The police came and they basically told her they couldn’t do anything and gave that piece of shit a ride back to Angie’s house. WTF! After that, Kat took me out to Chinese food.
Sunday was fun. Me and jordan took a nap together and watched revenge of the sith and ordered pizza. We also played Call of Duty together and I actually beat his ass a couple times! I was pretty proud of myself. Then later we were layed up in bed watching videos and one thing led to another and I was giving him head and we started fucking. He was all dom and it was SUPER hot. I love when he holds my wrists down and bosses me around and is rough with me and has me call him daddy. It was amazing sex but it didn’t last long enough. I wish sex could last forever. Because nothing and I mean NOTHING is better than sex. Except maybe love. But love and sex go together like peanut butter and jelly. You can have one without the other but who would really want to?