The loneliness is absolutely unbearable.  I did meet a man on AFF this morning.  We’ve been chatting on our cell phones, after I finally got my chat to work.  He looks uglier than sin but its better than being lonely. He’s looking for a companion too.  Lets hope that he’s not like Ian and has to have 2 women.  He’s not all that.  I can’t bear this shit.  I just can’t be alone again.  I’m so torn up and depressed I don’t know what to do.  God I hate this.  No family, now no Ian.  All I can do is cry and I can’t even do that.  I CAN’T DO THIS AGAIN!!!  I just can’t go on.

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