The loneliness is absolutely unbearable. I did meet a man on AFF this morning. We’ve been chatting on our cell phones, after I finally got my chat to work. He looks uglier than sin but its better than being lonely. He’s looking for a companion too. Lets hope that he’s not like Ian and has to have 2 women. He’s not all that. I can’t bear this shit. I just can’t be alone again. I’m so torn up and depressed I don’t know what to do. God I hate this. No family, now no Ian. All I can do is cry and I can’t even do that. I CAN’T DO THIS AGAIN!!! I just can’t go on.