Confusion

But if I look at this from the other side, it might be good to not feel anything. I mean I have a goal, I want to be police officer, that’s my only goal. And when you’re a police officer it’s good that you’re not emotional because a lot of things in that job are emotional and if u want to do a great job u cant let emotions get in the way. Maybe it’s the universe telling me I was born for this job. Maybe it’s preparing me for later. I mean when I look at it this way, it makes perfect sense. And honestly I’m okay with it, because now I know nothing and I mean absolutely nothing can get in my way of becoming the best policewoman there is to be. And it’s relaxing. I go to school only because I have a chance at working for law enforcement. And trust me I’d pick a uniform over anything else in no time. I wouldn’t even think twice. I mean I won’t have a loving husband and great kids, but I’ll be able to protect those who do. And protecting people is what I love to do. Imagine that you have a crappy life and then spend the rest of it making other people happy and helping them, I mean nothing can even compare that. “I saved lives today, what did you do? Sit on that couch and feeding your lazy ass?” I’d rather die than hear someone got hurt and I did nothing. I wanna save lives, I wanna help people in any way I can. And for me that’s worth a lot more than all the money in the world. Sure, people are ungrateful, but knowing you helped them can fill your hole in that heart. Money can’t do that.

I know family is important, but why make new babies, when you have so many people to take care of first? 100 newborns don’t mean anything if you watch existent people get killed, bullied. If you can’t save lives that are already here don’t bother giving a new life to someone else. It doesn’t get better that way, it gets worse but with more people. 10 happy people is better than 100 unhappy and scared.

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