Giving over to acceptance

I’ve found 3 pretty solid ways to gain some kind of focus on the thick of the forest. All of them have proven very effective mindful thought… even if it’s in a restful state. The first way is usually my go to because not only do tears cleanse our bodies of harmful toxins, but also in a sence, our spirits too. Take one entire 24 hour period to do just that… cry it out! Cover your head to muffle the sounds of bitter agony that’s tearing at the deepest core. Take frequent naps during this time as it is quite taxing on your physical body as well as the emotional. Believe me… if broken hearts have been known to kill people deader than a hammer, then it can most certainly manifest itself in bodily pain. Every particle that makes you who you are… is in pain. But… the payoff is well worth 24 hours of just beating the crap out of my own heart so I won’t have to carry it around and be angry for 20 years and untold amounts of money and anti depresents later and still have to go in a room by myself to hide the tears for just 2 minutes at a time. Rip that bandaid off baby… jump in… its only cold for the first second… yeah. Then the fresh air hits the freshly grown skin… it’s that moment when u expel all the air in the lungs as your eyelids close as if to savor that one second for an eternity. That’s what u feel after this 24 hour tear bath. 

It does sometimes get easier to breathe… then it all stops again. 

The second thing kinda goes along side the remaining one… water. Fishing. I will admit there have moments of brain melting patience waiting for that one fish. But being near water always helps to sooth the loud parts.. whatever they mat be. Notice everything about those moments… you will use these memories of tranquility and power and peace. You will find them helpful in more ways than you realize.  They’re what made you who u r at this brief moment in time.

The third is something that you can use some of your brand new unopened knowledge and insight gathered durimg the first two phases. Breathe in deeply and stand to your feet. I do fish tanks. It is also known to have therapeutic purposes. To watch fish swimming in the water is almost like a zanex for ur thoughts. Sometimes it just good to set a pace.. give yourself enough spaces on all sides for error. Be comfortable and confident. Be patient with you… to win the marathon is about duration not speed.

I think that may somehow tie into the cut and dry lifestyles that many meth users demonstrate accompanying mental diagnosis. Its all in or all out when u put the two together. Hold on tightly is the most sound advice I can give you… it may be bumpy. 

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