I’m A FAKE

Hello, finally, I am back again after these few months. Well, these months I have not been doing well. Life hasn’t been liking me lately. I have been getting bad grades. I was once a straight A student and now I am barely making the classes. One of my teachers suck. She is so unorganized that I don’t even know what the heck she is teaching anymore. All my teachers don’t really care. I hate math. Math sucks. I despise it. Why the hell would I need math in the future if I want to be a journalist or writer? Maybe create my own comics too. People don’t care these days what people do…If you choose a job that doesn’t pay well, but you really enjoy it a lot, people will say things about it. I want to start working too. I am tired of depending on my mom. I want to buy my own things, want to experience what it’s like to work. Sometimes, I am wondering what will I be able to be smart. My father also shunned me when I went to go see him recently, he ignored us completely. He just started arguing with me. I felt really hurt and rather disappointed with him. Why the hell does he hate us, why does he hate us so much that he doesn’t even talk to us when we try to talk to him. He ignores us completely…As if we were a ghost that can’t be seen. I knew from the start that he never liked us. Maybe he did at some point before…But not know…Not like it used to be…All I wish to do is have a normal conversation with him…Now I really despise him…

I recently went to go see the Black Panther movie. It was a good movie. I was skeptical at first because I was well maybe it’s not going to be a good movie, but I went to watch it with my aunt. After that, we went to eat ice cream and it was like 1AM. People that were driving along the roads just looked at us as if we were crazy. We just laughed it off. It’s weird how people think what we do when others in another country could possibly find it normal. Or how people think that eating dog meat in other countries is weird and eating turtles, but here people eat mostly cow, pork, and chicken meat which those from another country might find it weird. 

Know to hide my worries and sadness, I smile. I smile such a fake smile that it hurts. I don’t know what a real smile looks like know. When people look at me and start to talk negative about me, I just fake smile and smirk. Like who cares what they think about me. I just listen to music to ignore their comments. This makes me a fake person. I hate me. 

“So take my hands, let’s dance” that’s what he said. I wanted to take them, but something doesn’t let me. I wish I could just forget about everything, but it doesn’t let me. Everything is going perfectly miserable. 

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