25/Feb/2018 Sunday

My cough got so bad today my mom rushed me to the hospital and now I’m on antibiotics and cough syrup. The doctor told me withdrawals and detoxification can last up to a year. I don’t like this. It’s been 5 months since I stopped smoking. (Best decision I ever made). Cravings still do come back once in a while. It sucks big time. I am getting good at winning those craving moments though! 

I have been very stressed out lately. So much goes on in my head. I was helping my son to clean up his toys, then all of a sudden my brain stopped working. It went totally blank for almost a minute like it shut down itself. Like a dead feeling. I wasn’t sure what I was doing, it feels like a sudden memory loss for a few seconds like I look around and every thing around me looks unfamiliar. It scares me and my heart starts beating really fast. My anxiety reaches the peak. I slowly come back to myself in sometime which is scary. I have been getting this feeling mostly everyday for a while now. I think it’s the stress and also my anxiety. I need to talk about this with my doctor. I’ve never been so stressed out in my in entire life. 

 I woke up feeling like shit today as well . This never goes away. I wake up feeling awful every morning But my mood gets better by evening. I know it’s going to be the same cycle tomorrow too. Ugh! Let’s hope I’ll be able to change that cycle. 




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