I am a very public person in terms of social media. Being a hairdresser in this day in age your impacted by the type of traffic you obtain through the internet. Im 27 years old and im sure if i would have decided to become a hairdresser erlier in life the game would be alot different. But im part of the Millennial generation and technology has been part of most of my life its just scary to think that my carreer as a hairdresser would be alot different less than 10 yeas ago. Thats kinda scary guys… to think that in such a short time frame this social media has gripped our lives and crippled us as much as it has.
that being said if it were then i would have way more privacy. i never really realized just how impoartant it is to just have some alone time and clear your head and energy from all the contact you have with people on a daily. im sure to most of you this may sound like im being dramatic but i have to deal and engage with hundreds of people on a daily basis. This includes my Clients behind the chair. Im basically a therapist!
dont ge me wrong a love my clients but the amount of emotional ups and downs you go through from one day of doing hair is unbelievable. some of my girls are getting a divorce cause they caught there man cheating with their best friend. Others are being left when they discovered their husband sleeping with another man. Then you have your girls that have crazy criminal children… the list goes on and on and their feelings and stories really takes a tole on me.
I know i stand out. if you were to see me in a group of 100 people you would either think im a celebrity or you would think im a young spoiled rich kid with way to much money because of the way i look and my clothing and my perfectly blown out hair. Dont get me wrong i pride myself with my beuaty regimens bcause is a passion of mine but most people dont look like me. This causes a bunch of attention when ever i step out of my comfort zones. “house/salon”
People just love talking to me when im trying to pump gas. People asking me advice, people fallowing me on social media.. blah blah blah blah blah… i know i sound pathetic right now but my point is…
i honestly miss the days when people didnt hound me, when people wouldnt get in fights over who gets to spend more time with me “friends” when i could go out with a male friend and not have people starting crazy dating rumours or making me out to be a whore. “that was my past, those were my vegas days”
another big issues that corrilates with this is im high most of the fucking time and sometimes it just makes me feel super paranoid. its to the point where i cant even enjoy my high any more and i have to start taking one to many xannax bars and then im all Anna Nicole Smithed out so i have to either pop a 30 mg adderall or hit up Blake “my cooke dealer” anf if he dosnt answer i have to hit up Dale “my meth dealer”
yeah yeah yeah i know i saound like a junkie but trust me guys. I in no way shape or form look like a druggie. however i hate when i have to resort back to meth.
I am such an emotional mess from my past, that getting high is the only way i can function in everyday life with all of the damn attention i get, pretending to care about people, being nice to people when i just want to go home and cry. Being confronted about rumours… And Maintaining my good image…
only 4 people in my close friend circle know how bad my addicion is but the rest of the world dosnt have a clue. sure some times i slip and i look like ive been partying all weekend but thats what makeup and eyedrops are for.
this is just me rambling and expressing my feelings. i think that last line of caicine realy got to me and that tall can made me feel all emotional.. whatever this is how i feel today….