stymied again

Well, he woke up long enough to crash out again.  Which means no sex, again.  Guess I’m going out with Jeff.  He’s checked into the Hampton Inn and said he was going to come get me later.  He’s probably going to meet with someone else before me.  I want to be with Ian but he doesn’t want to be with me.  I don’t think Ian and I will ever have sex again…he’ll never touch me again.  Told him about going out with a “friend” again but not that it was Jeff.  Jeff said he would come pick me up later but that was several hours ago.  I don’t know if he’s actually show up.  Be my luck he won’t.  I want sex so bad but can’t get it from Ian.  I don’t know whether to believe him about being tired from work all week or not.  He shouldn’t have been tired today but has kept putting me off til tonight and now he’s asleep.  He’s promised me and is not following through.  I’m scared to sleep with Jeff because I’m afraid it will endanger me and Ian.

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