i feel like im drowning in sadness that’s not visible to others almost like everytime i scream for help my lungs fill with water making it hard to breath. all i need is silence and my mind starts wondering off to these thoughts i cant control. i kinda look at life as a game you have to go through rough challenges almost like heartbreaks, traumatizing situtations that you’ll never get over. you end up losing points and at the end you either die or succeed. for me i dont see myself succeeding as depressing as that sounds i think about my future and a blank space pops up in my mind. i look forward to school because my friends distract me from my thoughts then as im in my room every feeling hits me hard. i believe everyone goes through something, some even worse from others. but i wouldn’t wish this feeling on my worst enemy. i feel sad, tired, and drained. it feels like i have weight on my shoulders and im trying my best not to give up. theres no reason for this type of feeling. sometimes you just want to isolate yourself from everyone like as soon as you hear your parent open your door you have to fake a smile hiding the tears. ill feel extremely happy some days then other days i wanna be left alone. i want this feeling to stop but i know it’ll continue to affect me. 

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