cunt // 2.28.18

dear diary,

i feel like my body issues started at a young age from being around my step mom who was always insecure with her body. counting calories and micro managing her food and judging what i ate and wore. at 10 years old. i remember her making snarky comments about my favorite pair of jeans being too tight.. at 10 years old. or a comfy pair of pajama shorts being too short. eventually those items magically disappeared from my closet. along with a lot of other things she’d judge me for. at one point i was into juicy couture and i wasn’t allowed to wear it because it had the word “juicy” on it and to her that meant i was a slut. she made comments to savannah when we were on vacation for wearing a bikini bottom that had strings that tied the sides together. she may have been in 6th grade when that happened. eventually i started to worry about counting my calories and wanting to lose weight because it seems glamorized by her or like i wasn’t good enough if i weren’t worrying about it. cunt. her son would sneak into my room at night when savannah would sleep over and hide in my closet when my dad would come in to check on us. of course i had no idea how wrong what he was doing was at the time. everything that tammy brought into my life has made a negative impact. and she still gets chosen over me by my dad. she gets jealous of me spending any time alone with him. fuck her for ruining my childhood and my relationship with my father. the list of things she’s done can go on and on, and my dad doesn’t know about/ doesn’t believe any of it.

 

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