Step out, make the change, delight in the reward

Had a great night at bible study tonight(as usual). Of course we are all pumped up about the ISI conference Saturday. Last night was equally awesome at recovery. We had 3 new guys in small group. Not only is it beneficial for me to be in a positive encouraging atmosphere but I do find that I can offer encouragement to others and try to reveal just how much God wants greatness for each one of our lives. I believe that I have a lot to offer in a “recovery” setting. I want to see us ALL receiving what God wants for our lives. I know that God is setting me up to be a light in someones world. Hopefully multiple people will see Christs love through me. I remember the bliss of going to the jail and ministering. It does bother me that I backslid into chaos. I lost my way, my family, my passion etc. God WILL restore!! He has promised this. Tomorrow is the big day. The first divorce hearing. I am a little anxious but I do have a peace about it. I know that God goes before me. He is my comfort, tower, shelter & shield.  I will delight in HIS greatness for all of my days. God will restore my family, finances, health, confidence, perseverance and capacity for his love. I am confident of this. I will not put God in a box and put limits on him. I am so excited to go to the conference with my son and father. My friend Troy and my uncle are also going. I gravely miss my family structure and think about it constantly. I enjoyed being a family man. I messed it up but the road before me is paved with forgiveness, love and consecration to the will of my father.  The only positive thing about court tomorrow is that I will get to see my beautiful bride. I’m sure that I will sneak in as many looks as possible. She is such a doll. To be honest….. she is the belle of the ball. It’s been a few days since I seen her so I need my fix. I still refer to her as my beautiful bride because……..  she is beautiful….  and technically we are still married. I guess if we get divorced I will have to refer to her as my ex beautiful bride. She will still be beautiful but won’t be my bride anymore. It’s all in Gods hands. I am powerless in this fight. I chose the winning side though!!!!!

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