I think I’m very sexual, and so I go for my desires. Unfortunately, for women, these desires are accessible. Men hardly say no to sex. Although I don’t have multiple partners, but with my current one, my feelings are a mix. He doesn’t demand sex whenever he likes. But I think I impose more that I don’t leave any time for him to lust for me. Since I’m uncomfortable on how I’m doing these things (getting sex), is what I’m doing wrong?
Another reason why I try to spend time with him is because I care about him. He’s been living somewhere far and he got divorced last year, although he’s been by himself for two years now. He also just return to our home state, so being an old friend we’ve been hanging out. So I though having sex with him is spending time with him so he won’t be alone and he’ll less likely fall into depression. Am I crazy? Am I using my sexual desire as a tool to care for my friend? If that so, does that mean I’m letting myself be used? Or am I using him to fulfill my desire? But I’m not really that much of a horny person.
He is my friend and I care about him and I know he cares about me. But it’s like I have this huge blind-spot when I’m looking out for myself. I’m so lost.