I had to come to the hospital for chest pains. I know it’s an anxiety attack and the arthritis. I know he’ll tell hate me for this later. I should have never gotten involved with him to start with. I should’ve never cared. How could I be so stupid? When they asked me my weight he looked ate with such disgust. I am repulsive and ugly. I should never forget that. I should have left him home to call the bitch and have fun with her. I just need to let him go to be with her, the woman he does love instead of me, the person he finds disgusting. I’m sure Jeff will find me disgusting soon enough so I should expect that. He will dump me too.