Thursday March 1st

My whole body feels sore and tired and beat up. I don’t know why I feel so bad, but I do. I did lose most of my plan time yesterday because of the threat. I hope today is not horrible. I wish to god that some of the pains in the asses would stay the fuck home every once in a while, but those fuckers are here every goddam day. I never get an easy day. I am so over all of it right now. 100% over it. I just don’t know how much longer I can do this. I am tired of fighting with children that don’t want to learn, I’m tired of spending ,my own fucking money to buy them pencils just to watch them break them and throw them at each other. I’m tired of buying scissors and glue for them to break or waste or steal. I am just OVER it all. I’m tired of getting no fucking respect from anyone – not parents not those in political offices, not students, not the community- respect from no one. I have 3 fucking college degrees and I get treated like dog shit by 12 year olds. I don’t know what to do. I am exhausted with it. I don’t know that I want to be an administrator. Right now, I would like to get as far as possible the fuck away from education. I hate my life. 

Here’s what I know for sure. I am sure as fuck not teaching 7th grade next year. Nope. I am teaching one fucking grade- 6th and that’s it. If not, I am fucking out of here. This year, the 7th grade classes have made my life fucking miserable. I am so beat down. So beat down. 6/7 years doesn’t sound like much more, but it sure as fuck feels like a goddam lifetime at this moment. 

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