Friday March 2nd

57 days left in this school year. I met Deedra and Dorothy last night for drinks. I drank 4 beers. I did drink one glass of water and I was eating the whole time, so I don’t feel terrible. That was about 2 beers too many, though. I did manage to not text everyone I know. Only Brent- that was a bad idea, but fuck it. This week has been exhausting. Mentally and physically. I am so over the whole school shooter bullshit. OVER. IT. It’s so fucking stupid. Giving teachers guns is certainly not the fucking answer. How in the hell would more guns make it better. Some teachers will have guns, so the shooter will go to classrooms where the teacher doesn’t have a gun, or the fact that a teacher has a pistol and the shooter has a semi-automatic weapon, there’s no fucking contest. And, hello! Most of the shooters kill themselves, so do you think the possibility of being shot would deter them??? Fuck no. Their goal is to do as much damage before they die. Guns will not stop them. 

Later, that same day…

I got my stuff finished to begin school next week. My class is on Tuesday evenings from 8-9:30. Lord! I will struggle to stay awake, I’m afraid. Everything seems to be getting back to sucky normal around school. There are more absent than usual today, but of course all the asshole kids are here. I have 4 missing from 3 of my afternoon classes. That will help a little. We have 57 days left in this school year. I am going to come back here next year- I hope to god she gives me all 6th grade. My life will be so much better if I only had 6th. I am not going to do team leader. I don’t want to do it, and I don’t have the time to do it if I’m going to be going to school. I just hope to shit I can get a fucking job after I spend 12K to get this degree. I would make it back and then some over the retirement years, so it would be worth the investment IF I can get a job. My best bet would likely be to get something in my current building. Maybe one of the current 5 admins will move on to another school- like one of the assocs may get their own school. If I want that to happen, I will have to continue to work really hard so that they will like me. My plan is to apply for every single admin job until I finally get something. Even if I HATE it, I could stick it out for 3 years to increase my retirement a ton. I have been thinking a lot about being a nurse- I do think I would like that, but I wouldn’t like not having all the days off that I get now, and it would definitely be less money and I would need to keep going to school to get a nurse practitioner.

I can stand 177 days each year for 7 more years. I can do it. I have 80 sick days. If it gets too bad, I’ll just start fucking taking them.  

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