In my version of a perfect world, you’d choose me from the start.
Since I met you that very first time, I felt something special. I can’t really explain it, it’s just one of those feelings. butterflies, sparks, I felt everything all at once.
All I know is I would have loved you. I would have done everything to paint your world in colours, not from this galaxy. I would have heard every horrible thing you’ve ever done and still loved you. I would have loved the parts of you that you hate, the parts that have never been loved by anyone else.
I never told you this. But being with you were the only moments I ever truly felt beautiful. Sometimes you didn’t even have to touch me to have the kind of effect you did on me. I don’t know why I feel this way, Whatever the reason, I was unashamed when I was with you. I could do anything, I could tell you anything, and you’d never make me feel judged for it.
I realise I may never have you in this life, or in another. Maybe this is something we do in every universe we meet in. Something about you is so familiar, I’m not sure you’ve ever been mine, but I know we find each other each time.
The last time I saw you, it felt like it could be the last. I tried to memorise every line on your face, every freckle, every place you touched me and kissed me. But none of it matters. I’ll always remember how you made me feel.
Honestly, I’m not sending you this to make you change your mind about her. It’s just my way of getting through it. I wish I could be okay with not being your first choice but it’s hard.
I care about you more than you’ll ever know. It’s weird to put an end to something that wasn’t technically anything, to begin with, but I hope you find everything you’ve ever wished for.
(I still don’t have the guts to send this)