Hi, This is my first entry, you will find my spelling and my train of thought is a little of a mess and it will be for a while until I get my thoughts put together, so please bare with me.
Have you ever wondered just what people are thinking about? I have a young man that moved into my home and he is going through some really tough things. He is 19 years old and still a High School student. him and his mother got into it yet once again. She is a very controlling person. How controlling you ask? He has dated the same girl for 3 years, and before he moved in here, in 3 years he has only went on MAYBE 4 dates. The first one a year ago and only because I told her if she didn’t back off him a little she was going to lose her son. She is totally crazy. For him to go to his girlfriends house who lives with her grandmother, he had to take a picture of her (the grandmother) with his phone and send his mother a picture to prove she was there. Then randomly she would tell him to send her another picture. I could go on and on about how controlling she is. I have never met anyone really like that with their children. I have however seen it with a husband or boyfriend keeping control over their spouse or girlfriend before though.
Well it happened that again she lied to her son about being able to go over to his girlfriends house because when the girlfriend went to pick him up, the mother changed her mind, trying to tell the girlfriend how to spend her money on gas and tell her she was NOT leaving with her son, they could just both stay there where she could keep an eye on him. This lead into a fight. I mean a real fight. The girlfriend and mother were screaming at each other. The mother was calling the girlfriend a bitch, whore, slut and many other given names. So the young man decided he needed to get out of there and started to put his shoes on so he could just go for a walk. He was use to the fights the two would get in, but he tries to just stay out of it because he knew it would not turn out so good. So he is trying to get on his shoes. The mother asked where he was going and he told her a walk, he just had to get out of there. Now mind you at this time the young man was 19 years old. Legal age to do and go where he wishes. She informed him he was not leaving and jerked one shoe out of his hand. she is screaming at him and the girlfriend and telling them neither person was going to leave, when the girlfriend tried to get into her OWN car and just had home. The mother would not let the girlfriend go any place. She tried to take her car keys out of her hand. This car belonged to the girlfriend not the mother and the girlfriend is 18 years old at this time.
The mother is still trying to stop her son from leaving, so he throws the other shoe and it hits his mom in the face. She takes a dive on him and he pins her down to keep her from hitting him. which she turned in such a way she bites the calf of his leg. He finally gets clear of her and takes off. She orders the girlfriend to call the police and the girlfriend refuses, so she tries to take the phone away from the girlfriend to call the police and the girlfriend wont let her. So the mother rushes to get her phone and calls the police. The same time she is doing this, the girlfriend gets into her car and the young man is walking down the road and the girlfriend picks him up.
His Father lives in Ohio, and mom lives in Indiana, so he is very confused and doesn’t know what to do. He knows his mom at this time has called the police on him. When the whole fight was caused because of the mothers lies once again, the girlfriend fighting with the mother etc. All he wanted to do was go for a walk and cool off and once again his mother got into his face. Needless to say this is not the first time his mother has gotten in his face to where he wanted to hurt his mom but instead just go for walks to cool down.
He is a very good friend to my son, and I guess when he was getting ready to turn 18 he told my son that he wanted to move in with us. I was like a second mom to him. I feel very honored to be his second mom. So His mother knows the Young man will open up and talk to me. He knows he can tell me anything and I do not judge, I just try to point out the good and bad in each situation and tell him he is an adult and he needs to think about everything I just shared with him and decide what is best and right for him. So he Is very respectful and honest with me.
This day he ended up calling a uncle that lives in Ohio and they ended up coming to Indiana to get him. While this was going on, his step father that lives in Indiana I guess got home and then contacted the young mans father while he was at work and told his father his son was in Jail. (which was not true)
Now all this went down the first part of September, school just started and this was his senior year.
Well, he ended up going to Ohio, and I guess they called the police etc to see what was going on but could not find out anything. AT this same time I was down in another town visiting my daughter and I get a text from his mom wanting to know if her son was at my house. I told her I didn’t think so because my son was with me and no one was at our house we were out of town. She told me if I seen or heard from him she needed to know. Which was odd she said that and I asked her if something was wrong. So she sent me a picture of her face that was nice and red and would probably bruise due to the shoe hitting her and telling me her son hit her. NOT that he through a shoe at her and the fight was because of her lies once again. But that he hit her and she called the police and the police was looking for him and she didn’t know if he had been arrested yet or not. I couldn’t believe she called the police on her son.
Let me explain something about this young man. He is one of the most polite, most helpful, most kind kids you have ever met. Yes he has gotten mad in front of me before, but I seen he always walked it off and never tried to fight. He is just a wonderful young man.
Let me tell you something else his mother did, this will kind of give you incite of his mother.
Everyone was sick in the house or was getting sick except for him. The young man has twin brothers as well. So the mother was having everyone take meds and wanted the young man to take meds also. He refused to take prescription medication that wasn’t even his and he was not sick and she got mad. Beings he refuse to take meds when he was not sick, she took the liquid cold meds and dumped it all over him, then told him to clean up the mess or she was not going to allow him to go to his fathers house or his brothers to go to his fathers house for the weekend. So they young man ended up cleaning up the mess. She had even jerked all his covers and sheets off his bed because he had refused to take the meds. So that gives you a little more incite of this woman.
It was a the next day while I was at work and my cell phone rang and I answered my phone and it was the young mans uncle calling me. The wanted to know If the young man could finish school living at our house. I said as long as he was not hiding from the law and everything was on the up and up, but this was after I was told what really happened that day.
So the young man ended up coming to my house at the end of that week. His mother had gotten a hold of my son and asked him to get her sons Welding equipment from school and all his belongings at school because he was probably not coming back. She had no clue that her son was moving into my house. I stopped my son from gather all the welding equipment and belongings for the young man. And I informed her that my son was NOT going to be put in the middle of this, and she was not to ask my son anything without going through me first. But we have found out the real reason she wanted all his things. She has refused to give him any of his stuff except his winter coat, 1 pair of jeans, 1 shirt, and I had to belittle her to get his glasses, that he has to wear when driving at night. Other than that, she would not and will not give him his billfold, his license, his birth certificate or social security card. We had to get copies of everything. For a couple of weeks she kept asking me if I knew where her son was or have heard from him. I asked her why she kept asking me and she said because she knew he would talk to me. I just said OH and never gave her the answer she was looking for. This was not the first time he left home and stayed at my house.
Now this story goes on and I will tell you more, but it is late or early in the morning how ever you want to look at it. I will continue this story tomorrow and explain where we are at today and How I find he has 2 parents that really has no clue what it is like to be a parent and they need to stop thinking about their selves and think about their child and let that child know he is loved. It doesn’t matter if he is 19, 2, or 55. A person wants to know and trust his or her parents truly love them, and this young man is starting to wonder if anyone really loves him except for his grandfather. He knows how important he is to me, I guess that is why he calls me Mamma. NOT mom, but Mamma, and that is special to me. I keep telling him his mother will come around and he needs his mother in his life and every time I get him thinking about it, she digs that black hole she is living in deeper and deeper and I don’t know if she will ever come out of that whole she is digging. But I will explain more tomorrow, I need sleep.