What are parents thinking? Part 2

So part to at what are parents thinking. 

So the uncle and Grandfather ask me if this young man could live with us to finish school. I did say yes and they promised they would help me out. If I  needed anything. 

So with that said, The young man went back to school and it was a few months before his mom knew where he was living. She wont give him any of his things and kept sending him text messages telling him how much she loved him etc. Oh and the Uncle bought him a phone because she wouldn’t give him that either.

So she kept sending him text telling him she loved him and wanted to talk, but any time he asked for his billfold clothing anything she would bite down his throat and say “You only want what I can give you” So he quit asking. 

His grandfather and I finally talked him into meeting with her at McDonalds  (a public place) around Christmas, now remind you this all started in September, the first part of September. So he went and met with her. He asked her if he could have his snow boots and gloves so if he slid off the road he would have them to be warm when trying to get his car out. (which it is a car his father loaned him knowing it was not in the best shape). He went and met with her and she carried in all these presents for him but not the gloves or boots the only 2 things he had asked for. She asked him if he would open them and he told her no, he didn’t want her buying him things he only wanted what was his and right now all he wanted was his boots and gloves.  She got totally pissed. She started bashing his father and I had sent her a message a week before and told her if she really wanted to have a good visit, she needed to make sure she did not bash his father or that side of the family.

Oh did I mention his grandfather is HER father? She has nothing to do with her Father and Mother nor her sister or brother in law, but they are all their for support for the young man. 

But anyways, what does she do? she starts bashing his father and his family. so the young man just got up went to his car and came back home here. While he was driving I got bitched out in Text because she blames everything on me because I am helping him and he doesn’t need her now. I asked her if she was wanting him to grovel and beg she tried to say that she doesn’t want him to grovel and beg but everything she is bitching about is because he is doing good, grades have gone up and he is not asking her for anything and this pisses her off. So in my eyes she wants him to grovel and beg.

So Christmas didn’t go so well for her and him but we found out right after Christmas, There was a warrant out for his arrest because of his mom calling the police on him. This was on a Sunday afternoon, and found out they issued the warrant in November. Why so late I have no clue, but it was issued. I sent his uncle, his dad and grandfather all a message and his uncle and grandfather both came over from Ohio in a Ice Storm and took him to turn himself in so they could bail him right out. It cost them $1005.00 to do that. the $5 was because they had to process him right there on the spot so he could leave. I was so upset with his mother for calling the cops on him when his girlfriend and his mother started this fight all he was trying to do was go for a walk to get away from all the name calling and fighting. But his mom see’s nothing she has done wrong. Now mind you she was there, but not her husband. One Twin brother was there but down stairs and seen nothing. So only God knows what kind of lies she truly told that cop, because when she told me what was going on, her timeline and explanation and what went down does NOT match. I mean he had bite marks on him from her that the way she tells it, there is no way in hell those bites could of gotten on him like that unless she was a contortionist.

So the young man came home from being booked. Now to go back just a little, the young man got so tired of his mom calling and texting him all the time and telling him lies, he started sending her this little thing every time she text him that told her that his phone was no longer in service, so she had to start sending him text through my phone or my son’s phone. Well we know she isn’t going to send text through my phone she cant stand me now. But she did send one a couple weeks after the young man was booked and my son forward it over to me. 

I sent her a text back and told her it was court ordered he was not allowed to have any contact with her at all because of the battery charge, until this goes to court. She asked me if I was kidding, when I told her, that her father and brother in law came over on a sunday night in a ice storm and took him and turned him in and bailed him out. She asked me if I was kidding, I told her I don’t kid around about money. So I informed her now she has fixed it she can not have any contact with her son if she wanted too, and I hoped she was happy with herself. To which the response was she had written the prosecutor 10 times asking them to drop the charges. I don’t believe her would you?

She asked when his court date was and I told her and told her if she really loved her son she would ask the courts to please drop all charges. She wants him to have counseling,  when the truth is, her whole family has been trying to get her into counseling for a few years now. She says there is nothing wrong with her. Her new husband has already asked her brother in law what he is to do with her because he cant handle her actions and controlling etc. To which now he is not allowed to talk to the brother in law. He is forbidden to have any contact with her family. 

Are you still following here? 

So we go to court, she shows up but says nothing because all you can do that day is put a automatic plea in of Not Guilty. They basicly wanted to make sure they had the right information for everyone is all it was besides missing time at work to show up for that joke. So nothing was said. She did keep his distance. But then the fun begins.

This is where I start getting very discourage with both sets of parents now. 

The young mans car, the muffler falls off, he goes to take his Christmas money and takes the car in to get it fixed and we find out the car is a death trap. He calls his dad and he tells him to drive it back to Ohio that day. So the young man did that. I was hoping the car would make it which it did but I was still worried. 

this young man and my son both need that car or a car to get them back and forth to Skills, which is a welding class they take at another school a hour away one way. I’m at work and so is my husband and it’s their only way of getting there. Thank goodness this is during Christmas break.  But his dad says he cant help him. NO ONE can help him. So His father and I have a conversation and I find out his father had a SUV he has up for sale but his son will have to make payments, he is not just going to hand it over to him. I understand that, but the boy had not found a job yet. So I told his father I would make sure the payments gets made I would make them until my son and his son got jobs. But he had to carry the car insurance, I could not pay for his car insurance. So we left the SUV in his name but have a written contract.

So when the young man was arrested his family said let him get a free lawyer, they didn’t have the money to pay for one. I was shocked they wanted him to have a free lawyer. Around here a free lawyer is not going to do squat for you, except stand beside you and let them screw you over. So I told them I would pay for the lawyer. So right before the 1st of the month when the SUV payment is due, I dish out $1000.00 of my money to make sure we get this all taken care of. Next thing I know on the 1st, his father is asking him where is the check, it was not in his mail box. To which he and I had a conversation and told him the $200 would of been in the mail but it wont until the 3rd, because I had to dish out $1000.00 for his son to make sure his record will be cleaned off after this so this will not haunt him the rest of his life. I cant stress how good this young man is and how he really don’t deserve any of what is going on. But I told his father I would be paid Friday and I would have it in the mail on Friday (Which I did). So all month long we hear nothing from his father. His uncle calls constantly or text asking the young man that his $1005.00 was only a loan and he needed to get a job, to which I told his uncle the boy is going out every day and putting apps in and putting them in on the computer and he has not been called. He did go to a couple interviews but nothing came of them. I told his uncle google the boys name and see what comes up…who Is going to hire a hot head when they see battery charges. A school kid cant get much of a job, once he is out of school he has a welding job waiting on him, but right now, he cant get one. My son found one in a few days, but not this young man. I told him and his mother the charges are hurting him badly. They don’t believe it, but I truly do believe it. So I continue paying for his stuff. 

The boys are seniors so they get to go to Washington DC this year for their class trip, and I am having a graduation reception for both boys as well. I have NOT asked his family for any help with any of these bills, I keep gas in his SUV that cost me $60 a week to fill it, I keep oil in it, I feed this child, I give him spending money, I give him money for dates and made sure he had something for his girlfriend for Christmas and Valentines day. 

Did I have to do all this? nope, but I believe I am put on this earth to help children and young adults. I didn’t have the best life growing up and I want to make sure my children do and so does this young man, he is like my own child. My other 3 kids are out on their own doing their own thing, so I really only have to worry about the two boys. I even have a foster daughter and she is doing great, I have to take care of my boys. 

This brings me to the final straw.  On the 25th of Feb. His father sent a text

“IT’s almost the first of the month is the check in the mail?” OMG I was fit to be tied. I had the money order already in my purse, in an envelope and I was going to drop it in the mail the next day, but …..well…..beings this is so damn important to him and he cant even call or text and say “hey son hows things going for you” I was mad, so I didn’t put it in the mail until the 1st. so it was post marked for the first, not to mention the money order was stamped for the 25th. 

I had to write his dad a little letter, and explained all the money I was dishing out for HIS son, and I was NOT asking for money I was asking for him to be patient and not constantly hound us about his damn SUV payment. It would be in the mail. now in this letter I did spell out all the money I was spending, wondering if his father was even aware. I also told him I seen no help from any of them. Which they all keep telling me they give the boy all kinds of help….really? seriously? I seen no money helping me with food, room and board, gas etc. etc. etc.  

When his father got the letter, he text me this last Saturday all cocky and telling me since the truck was such a problem he would be here the next day to just get it. To which my response was….”UMMMMMM NO, we have a contract and the payments are on time. “

now…. during the last month, we had found my son a beautiful Camaro. But My son has not wanted to get his drivers license yet, and until we bought his dream car he didn’t want them. But now he is ready to get his permit. So the car stays parked beside the house covered up and until my son can ride in it with me, or his father or drive it himself the car stays parked. 

his father thought his son could drive MY son’s car. I told him NO, that car was not moving, and I would have to put his son on my insurance and that would be yet another bill I would be paying and that was not going to happen. He was going to leave the truck and stop  hounding me for money. I just don’t want to be hounded. He said I was being disrespectful. Am I crazy here? am I the one that is being disrespectful? really?  I told his father if the truck is removed off the property I would see him in court. He would end up giving me the SUV and still owing me money. His son made the statement if his father takes the SUV he quits school. And I honestly don’t blame him but I would talk him in to finishing it, but not tell his family let them believe he quit school. 

Now a little more background on his family. His mother did not pay for his school books so the boy paid his school books off with part of his Christmas money. He spent all his Christmas money on bills and gas etc, he never bought himself one thing he could enjoy. And he never complained. Oh, and the uncle that bought him the phone? it is a pre-paid phone and his uncle nor any of them will help keep that bill paid so I pay a monthly $43 bill each month since October. His uncle says let it get shut off, I asked him how the hell was he to get calls for job interviews because I do not have a land line, and I don’t answer numbers on my phone I don’t now.  He had not answer for that. And as for the mother paying the school books?  Those people are loaded. And I DO MEAN LOADED. Why the books were not paid for in the beginning I have no clue. She did text me not to long agao and asked if her son ate at school that day because it says she was in the whole for school lunches. I told her, he had free lunches beings the school has him down as if he was emancipated, but had me down as a guardian. she asked why, I told her because she called the law on her son and he wants nothing to do with her and yet is not legally allowed to have any contact with her, so why would she be on it. If she was in the whole for lunches it was because of the twins not this boy. Besides the boys take their lunch everyday because they eat on their way to the other school, not at the first school. 

Now you might think I am loaded by all the money I am spending on this boy but really I am not. after 40 years my husband retired from one job and went to a better company, so we have access to his 401k and we are using that to take care of some things. Although I work, I am on Disability. I am on a work release program that they keep saying every year I am not stable enough to go full time and to be dropped off disability. Because I am in and out of the hospital and I have had 23 surgeries so far in my life. So money is not the best here. Hell I’m all excited we just got a 1965 camper a small one we are going to remodel the inside but we got it for $800 and we can go camping this year.  So no we are not loaded, and the car for my son is not new, it is a 1996 but it is a classic and a show car, but we got it dirt cheap because the people that owned it, really loves my son and sold it to us for nothing really. So God is taking care of us. I’m getting ready to leave my job the end of May due to my health. I can barely walk when I get home from work. Here I am 59 years old almost 60 and when I get home from work I walk like I am 180 years old. I need help up I get these really nasty cramps that takes people to help me to the shower to run hot water over my legs to get them to stop etc. So no we are not made of money, we are just making sure these two boys gets what they should have their senior year of school 

I don’t think I am asking to much to ask the father not to hound me about money. This boy is such a good kid, and so respectful. Just like now, he seen the towels needed to be put in the washer, and without me asking he did so. He is here for anything I need, I love him as if he was one of mine. 

I posted something on face book the other day and said I loved my kids etc. etc. you know those little things if you love  your child like and share. So I did and I tagged all 4 of my kids, my foster daughter, her husband, my other kids wives and husband and I included this young man,  to where his MOTHER informed me on Facebook he has parents that love him. Well first off, I didn’t say he didn’t and second off, she has known for years her boys all called me Mamma. NOT mom but Mamma. She is such a insecure woman.

Well I think I have taken up enough of all of your time today journal, we will see where this drama takes me tomorrow. Maybe it will be something good tomorrow lol.

night Journal


One thought on “What are parents thinking? Part 2”

  1. I read your whole journal entry — it is long. But I care. I think it is great you can help the young man. His family sounds so unstable. Clearly he loves you like a Mama. God will bless you for all that you do for him. Be encouraged. Hugs to you!

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