Confessions of a Risin’ Star

Truth…

There is a pain that moves both through my life and body; subsequently, it won’t leave…

Right now it’s circulating amid the things I think and tell myself. I can feel it in my tongue and left calf. I already have a brace (along with an Ace wrap) on my back and waist. I still ran 15 sprints and 25 back and forths, along with 1 hour and half or cardio. I feel like I should be eating more, but when I try to, the pain stifles me from wanting or even feeling like I need food…

My family (from my parents to one of my sisters) have lost their minds due to religion and cults. My father is walking around with his left arm stiffening by the days. Such is a sign of heart disease. He refuses to get it looked at amid eating like a racoon. He’s already on diabetes medication. The doctor told him years ago, when he began the medication, that he needs physical activity. He uses money as the excuse for not doing such, while he gives weekly to a man, thinking it will get him into heaven…

My mother, who used to fondle herself in front of me, uses verbal abuse and OCD to control people. She cannot communicate longer than 30 seconds without yelling at an obscene level. She also refuses to see a doctor for not only mental illness or just, anything. I’m thankful for having the courage to be honest with her…

I had a sorta breakthrough today(it’s really just trill doin’ it’s thing). Typically I winingly charm women, and then they immediately test my inner durability. It’s happened so much, and so aligned with money achievements, that I chose to love it. And my gift(s) for letting go, were gainin’three more lit ones (including the one in the pic).

We chat often enough for her to send me pics…

P.S. If Kanye wrote through the wire with his mouth wired shut, then I can take this beating that our so called God insists on giving’ me. Religion and God are not real, unless you make it so…

(Me, Ridin’ Around & Gettin’ “It”…)

 

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