I’ve learned that I was never one to be open or expressive on how I felt until I met her. Years in and she has taught me to be open and outgoing of my emotions (something I’m still not used to doing) which has caused me to become a bit exaggerated with it.
Sad to say I confronted the idea of “fairness” and was put in my place. Sure it seemed unfair but I have come to learn that the person actually mentioned how they felt and what they feel would work best for themselves allowing the person to take said immediate action. I on the other hand have yet to fully learn what it means to take a step back and gently go about a situation without letting my words get out of hand.
I brought myself up thinking it’s best I speak not how I feel in order to prevent confrontation and I kept the idea of bottling up my emotions…that is until recent where now my emotions run rampant leaving me no clue on how to handle or control them. I feel like I’m becoming my own worst enemy, ergo my desire to write this. You the reader can know my life and feelings but I guess what gives me comfort is that I am still hidden as far as face and name…making all of this unbiased in the long run. I want to become a better person, I want to fix all of this but idk where to start…I’m slowly becoming scared to say what I want to because I seem to cause nothing but anguish or start arguments.
I want to do better for myself and the person I am planning a future with.
Question of the day:
If you get into an argument where you know you’re already wrong but seem to continue to the point that your s/o doesn’t wish to speak to you atm…how do you stop yourself or work to fix it?