Night has come once again

Once again, night has come and i will soon be going to bed. On  nights like these, i sit, lay and do nothing of importance. I have homework left unfinished but i find myself not doing it. I have an essay due soon and i’m supposed to edit it. I also have math homework but at this point i don’t care. Of course i care about my education but it also depends on the day, or in this case night. It is careless and completely lazy but i’ve heard it all before. It is on these kinds of days that i don’t know what i’m doing in life. I don’t feel my purpose here in this earth. I have an amzing guy who says he loves me, and i think i love him too. Although i can’t tell because it’s all just so complicated. He means so much to me and losing him would crush my heart even more. Break it even more. I am a broken piece of art and i’m not going to be repaired any time soon. I’ve been like this for years, depressed and suicidal but no one seems to be taking it seriously. I finally open up and they all judge me, calling me an attention seeker. And yes, i do want attention but i also don’t. I want people to know that i am afraid. Yet i don’t want to tell the anything because everything  that comes out of this mouth seems to always get thrown back in my face. And i get so tired, i am always restless. I rarely get a moment of silence and peace … He just called me right now and told me he loved me. I really am lucky. I hope this ending has a happy ending. 

     And as my boyfriend tells me, Goodnight, sleep tight, and don’t let the bed bugs bite. 

2 thoughts on “Night has come once again”

  1. Dear suicidal.rose,

    Hang in there, and remember: you are beautiful, and it’ll be ok xx

  2. To Little Lost Soul, thank you so much. I’m trying to. ( :

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