We had a long talk this afternoon.  He swore up and down he has never and will never step out on me.   He said he did step out on his ex girlfriend right at the end of the relationship and that she was stepping out on him.  I couldn’t tell him I did step out on him a few weeks ago when he wouldn’t touch me.  And I never will.  I still believe something could have been going on with the bitch.  I want to see what his response was to the bitch when she claimed she was pregnant and then said later she was only joking.  She didn’t say it was his just that she was pregnant and recanted.  I hope he told her to drop dead and not talk to him again….I hope.  He told me he was really liking what we had going and was getting attached to me.  The last 4 or 5 days since his sex drive started improving he started telling me how much he loved intercourse with me and how much he liked touching me and when I touched him.  I want to believe him but I’m afraid to.  Maybe part of my problem I have trusting him is because I did him wrong.  What do I do?  I’ve had a lot of people telling me to ditch him. I can’t prove anything other than some of the texts seemed a little damning even though they could be from the past before or right at the first of our relationship.   I’m having orgasms when we have sex, if he can get it up.  He’s been like that since we first started seeing each other.  He keeps telling me it isn’t my fault that it’s him.  I don’t know whether I’m that big a fool to believe it when he says it’s just him or to think he’s been seeing that bitch the whole time we’ve been together.  What do I do?

He’s gone pretty much all day without beer but he has been into my amaretto and some weed. He’s got beer now.  He’s acting much better just chatting me up like crazy.  And being very loving.

I just can’t do it…I can’t tell him to leave that it’s over.

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