Hopeful Then Helpless

You’ll need to pull up a chair because this one contains a long rant at the end. I didn’t even bother proofing. Too tired from writing it.

My day has been partially good and partially bad. I went outside and fooled with the car a little bit more. The transmission fluid is no longer leaking out, so apparently, I put the cooler line connector on correctly. However, I still have a coolant leak coming from what looks like a radiator plug that’s missing. It’s the only thing that makes sense. I went to the store and bought plain water just so I wouldn’t waste money on more antifreeze until the problem was solved. It starts coming out as soon as I pour it in. I believe it’s a plug, but I can’t find the darn thing. As I said before, there’s not much room to see. I filled her up the best I could and took a ride around the parking lot. Still seems to have a bit of a vacuum leak, but my transmission is just fine, and my motor is fine. I revved it up something wicked and moved it around in the parking lot. That car will be fine. It just needs some TLC, and I’m willing to give it that.

I’m irritated now that I’ve gotten off the phone with a lawyer, though. I did seek consult about the way that the hospital treated me, but there wasn’t anything I could do. I already knew that as of a few weeks ago, but I still went through the motions and talked to another one today. Just receiving heinous treatment isn’t enough for a malpractice case. I would have had to suffer an extreme financial loss or an extreme health risk because of the bad treatment to be able to win a case. Well, I can’t even prove that I’m really sick because conveniently, no one will document or confirm my diagnosis. You see, the volunteers that I went to after I left the hospital still sick were VERY concerned about my health after they took my urines, and they told me that my kidneys were not functioning right. They even used the code for “renal failure” on my paperwork.

Unfortunately, I think they all got wind of the fact that I was documenting everything and seeking legal counsel, and they basically reneged on their original diagnosis. That’s why they disappeared after the blood tests and then again after they tested me for lupus. All these tests show that something is wrong. They confirm everything. My symptoms show that something is wrong, The research shows that I should have a diagnosis, yet these people keep lying to me and trying to make me believe that everything is just fine. I’m so angry about this, and I feel helpless because I can’t do anything about it. Doctors can sit right next to you and put your own ABNORMAL test results in your face and still tell you that you’re okay if there’s some reason that they don’t want to diagnose you. How do you tell someone that they are fine with only 67 percent kidney function AND proteinuria? Even if it’s 81 percent AND proteinuria, that’s NOT FINE. That’s NOT normal.

How do you dismiss a positive lupus/Sjogrens/scleroderma/primary biliary cirrhosis test or try to minimize the results? How do you look someone in the face and say you don’t see anything when you know you do? How? How do you get a patient’s MESSED UP test results and then put that person off two months before you’ll even say what the hell is wrong? How? How do you do that to somebody?

What makes me even madder is that they don’t put people through this kind of crap for “mental health” issues. All you have to do is go to a doctor one time and say you’re sad, and you can come out with a “major depression” diagnosis and a year’s worth of some crazy drugs. No, I didn’t do that. I’m just saying it would be that easy because for some reason they WANT to label everybody with a mental illness.  But if you have a real medical issue, all the symptoms, all the numbers, and you know that something is wrong with your body, they still lie to you. It boggles my mind. Why wouldn’t a doctor want to give me a diagnosis? The only logical reason I can come up is the universal code of protecting each other’s asses in the medical field. Nothing else makes any sense.

I’m not fine, so if they’re failing to diagnose me and reneging on their original notes even though the tests confirm everything…it must be something else.

To have people minimize my discomfort and tell me “it’s nothing” is an insult to my intelligence, and it just makes me not trust doctors. We used to have to worry about them diagnosis us with the wrong stuff. Now we have to worry about them refusing to diagnose us even when the diagnosis is evident. Even if the diagnosis isn’t evident, it’s still not “YOU’RE just FINE. No worries.” That’s the wrong answer, and they know it. 

I still wouldn’t have a valid malpractice case even if I did receive my proper diagnosis, but if this is why these people are not giving it to me, I think that’s really messed up. 

As far as the malpractice goes, I believe the ER doc and facility were guilty of malpractice, meaning BAD practice, but no judge is going to find them guilty of legal malpractice or anything. No lawyer is going to pursue it either. Not gonna happen. Can I have my real diagnosis now, or do I have to wait until I start feeling like I’m dying again, swell up and gain 20 more pounds, lose my breath, and go back to the ER for more bad practice and a $5,000 bill? Well, I’m on my way because I just gained another two pound of water weight back. I’ve stopped taking the anti-inflammatory, but I’m still retaining. Normal, right?

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